Prisstopolis

Zing!

2011-12-15T13:51:00.001-08:00

Dear Lady Gaga,
Now that you have re-done "Orange Colored Sky" I believe that looking toward an even earlier era would put you in good stead. The next, obvious hit, a song that is screaming to be re-interpreted, is none other than "Zing! Went the Strings of My Heart".
Imagine the costumes!
Your fan,
Pr1ss

Occupy Seattle

2011-10-06T17:23:00.000-07:00

Early Wednesday evening I got to see the Occupy Crowd in person. To change buses, I had to walk through Westlake Plaza and there they were, occupying cobblestone after cobblestone. Before I saw them, I saw parking enforcement trucks, and park maintenance trucks, and television news-mobiles with their swirly narwhal antennas parked bumper to bumper along the curb of Pine Street. As I rounded the corner, I could see private security guards lined up with their backs against the retail stores, and a crowd of easily 200 protestors. There were the usual ubiquitous Seattle drum circle sounds, but not any other discernible crowd activity. 4th Avenue isn't very wide, and cars were struggling to get around orange cones and safety fluorescent vested public employees and police on horseback. I could feel the tension in the air as I realized that the trucks, guards, and cops formed containment walls around the triangular space, and that they might press inward.
So I went up to the cavalry commandeering my transit stop, and asked about where to catch the bus. They directed me half a block away, where another safety vest guy flagged down my connecting bus.
According to local news, 25 people were arrested soon after.

Google+ Review

2011-09-01T08:18:00.000-07:00

Scrolling isn't easy.
On most web pages, I hit the space bar to scroll down an entire page. On G+ that may or may not work. Usually it doesn't. So I use the touch pad or the mouse to click in the scroll bar area. It beats scrolling down one line at a time.

Open in new tab? Think again.
G+ does not want me to open links in other tabs to read later. It over-rides my browser settings and switches my view to the new tab. I get this, I really do. If I read the link now, I can comment to the person who linked. I haven't scrolled down (see above,) so after I read the article, or interpret the lol cat semaphore message, I'm still right on their post. Will this work, or will we all just stop clicking on links?

Circles
Sorting your contact list into categories is a powerful data-gathering technique. Not powerful for the users, powerful for Google. For the users, it could work as a method of disseminating information to an audience with specific interests. You can post about books, to your "book" circle, but unless something needs to be censored from an audience segment whom you know will not enjoy it, most posts tend to be marked as "public", or "all of my circles". Someone whom I didn't know was a book fan, might also enjoy the post, so shielding the post from them, doesn't make sense.

The real power of circles is how we categorize our contact lists. We take the information that we know about our contacts, and give it to Google for free. While I might be circumspect about how much personal information I share online, my contacts are free to sort me into circles of their choosing. Anything that they know, (or imagine,) about me could be used. Given the sense of humor that my friends have, I'm probably in a database somewhere, filed along with 8-foot tall Rosicrucians who have always been Communists. True or false, it is going into my file, and I will never even know what it says. No wonder my email box is full of advertisements for co-joined twin tailored clothing.

Name Nym Nom
Real names are encouraged. Real names are required. Names that don't look real enough, sometimes result in expulsion. So a disproportionate amount of posting space has been devoted to protests when someone's real, but unusual, name has gotten them booted from Google-ville. Some people want to use their long-term pseudonyms, but unless you are willing to list your legal name as well, the G-peeps say that you are failing to
comply. By this standard, Lady Gaga, Dear Abby, Ann Landers, and Marilyn Monroe would have all been exiled.

One of my contacts posted extensively about the name
policy. He wanted to use his DJ-fabulous nickname, and he wanted Google to like it. His friends replied with their support. One said that he didn't even know any other name for the guy. To me, this just indicates that they don't know each other very well.

By the way, DJ-fab is gone now. Nails that stand up, get ban-hammered down.

In all of this painfully drawn out reasoning and pleading by early-adopters to please, please let them use their true spiritual geek-names, I haven't seen one acknowledge that aside from data-mining, the Goog is trying to pre-empt potential armies of sock puppets. If someone advertises a dust-jacket-of-the-future to their "book" circle, and hundreds of grateful, loyal, fictional fictional fans post that they love it, this skews marketing statistics for the company. For me, as a reader, it just makes me less likely to ever expand a comment thread. Real commenters are long-winded enough. So have a pseudonym, have two. Just don't have dozens of them.

Let's be very clear: Google wants to know you very well. Not just what you share, but what you think. What recipe you looked up, which word you looked up the spelling for, AND NOW what your friends think about you.

In case you are wondering what I think about you, I will be open. I believe in glasnost, my dear Comrade. You have just been added to my circle of one-armed paper hangers who practice bee-keeping in their spare time. Your targeted sidebar ads should be along any minute.

Wrote a Little Song for a Friend's Going Away Party

2011-06-17T00:13:00.000-07:00

(Borrowed a Bob Dylan Tune)

This is the last party at Aria's house
One of so many we've had
This is the last party at Aria's house
So, let our hearts all be glad
We could say that the end is sad
Along with the good, must come some bad
But think of all the great fun that we had
So goodbye Aria

We used to know her as Andrea
Before Aria she became
We used to know her as Andrea
But then she changed her name
Earlier on, she was Peggy Sue
Before that she was Sally Mae
Even if we have to call her Freddie Mac
We will still have her back

Soon there will be new adventures
And we must have no fear
Navigate on your journey
Steady hands as you steer
Before you bungee dive off that cliff sheer
Let's play the game we call "What If" here
Raise a glass of vegan non-alcoholic beer
And drink a toast to Aria

Purim Song

2011-03-14T14:47:00.000-07:00

Born in the neighborhood of Shushan P
Studied at Cheder when I was only 3
Learned to play the lute and my ABC
And now I'm the Queen of the Persians and the Medes

Esther, Esther HaMalkah
Queen of the Persians and the Medes

I'm a champion at dreidel, naturally
My hula hoop is made out of hickory
I belly-dance and always dress modestly
And now I'm the Queen of the Persians and the Medes

Esther, Esther HaMalkah
Queen of the Persians and the Medes

Won a beauty contest easily
Answered all the questions on Jeopardy
In college I majored in diplomacy
And now I'm the Queen of the Persians and the Medes

Esther, Esther HaMalkah
Queen of the Persians and the Medes

Some day I'll have a daughter, or two or three
And pass on my statecraft recipe
We'll go on vacation to Hawaii
And now I'm the Queen of the Persians and the Medes

Esther, Esther HaMalkah
Queen of the Persians and the Medes

Third Amendment Imperiled!

2011-03-09T21:19:00.001-08:00

The Wisconsin plan is to cut the pay and benefits of public employees except for that of police and firefighters. - Because crime and fire can be quite inconvenient, to a monied class, when there is a disgruntled peasantry. If this trend continues, we move further towards a police state. The ensuing military dictatorship would also be quite inconvenient. Yes, Homeland Security will need you to hand over all of your stuff for the duration. You wouldn't want to be perceived as hating freedom?

Smooth

2011-02-08T11:35:00.000-08:00

Spring is in the air, and the mango-orange smoothie is in the blender. A few days away from the bagel peanut butter diet, and I can already see a difference in how my clothes are fitting. It is possible to stay vegetarian, or even vegan, and still take in way too many high fat calories.

My daughter introduced me to blues dancing. It's couples dancing with a lot of the swing dance moves, but most songs are slower and less bouncy. You do in your stocking feet. Except for the formless and ubiquitous slow dance, I've never done partner dancing before. I managed to exist in a world where people disco without touching unless they all join hands and form a circle. Fortunately, my guy has had a smattering of exposure to ballroom et al.

Oh yeah, my guy Smiley. We've been dating for almost two years. Ever since he drove me home from a Valentines party. (Awwwwww.)

Pink

2010-11-24T17:26:00.001-08:00

On Sunday I went to my book discussion meeting. The Grapes of Wrath seems topical now. When I read it as a High School student, the 1930s seemed primitive and remote. It was akin to reading about feudalism or ancient Egypt. Since then, I've seen parallels to the depression, with displaced workers after factories have closed and refugees after the Katrina Hurricane. It was fun to recognize the heavy handed propaganda techniques Steinbeck used to make readers love the ordinary people characters and to hate the corporate big guys and their evil minions.
Then, as it started to snow, I dashed over to U Village shopping center in the annual quest for Chanukah candles. My neighborhood stores can never be relied on to carry any. A few days later, I've finally gotten curious enough to check out what colors they are. First of all, the two boxes I bought were taped shut. (Because, someone might try to eat them and they want to prevent tylenolesque tampering?) And more strangely, there are no blue and no green. The mix consists of red, orange, yellow, white, and pink. The pink is completely unexpected.

Ukulele Report

2010-08-17T19:09:00.000-07:00

It is day three of my ukulele adventure. I can now play "Tom Dooley" and can sort of take a stab at "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz. Also I know how to tune the instrument, a pretty essential component of getting a song to sound recognizable.

PHEAR MY MAD UKE SKILLZ

Petrol in, petrol out

2010-06-26T15:24:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting in the Wayward Coffee House. Just outside is the Greenwood car show. More than a thousand cars parked diagonally along sides of the road, spectators walking among them. Earlier today, Smiley and I caught the last few minutes of a MoveOn.org rally for safer oil drilling. One hundred people rebuking pollution at the beach, thousands a few miles inland celebrating an industry that demands the causes of that pollution. And I love cars too. I was especially drawn to the Jaguars,and a Chrysler similar to the 1956 model I remember that my dad used to have. So many models I remembered, like the station wagons that carpool moms used to drive. Some really strange things too, a car made by Messerschmitt. It was low like a go-cart, with two seats in single file. There were even a few electric cars, and one had a sign explaining about plans to convert it to battery.

Alejandro allay-allay-hand row

2010-06-08T13:00:00.000-07:00

I love the Alejandro song by Lady Gaga. But I don't like the costumes and historical references in the new video. Pop culture has to try really hard to be fresh and challenging, you know, "edgy". I want my music to be fun, and not creepy. Obviously, anything that attracts comments is a success of a sort, so panning it here may be viewed as adding to the publicity.

Most of her fans are SO GAGA over everything that she's done, that they will love future product unconditionally. That would have described me up until now, I love all of her music.

To sum up:

Jackboots and nuns in red latex? Meh.

And if you escalate to evisceration and vivisection, I'm outta here.

Maddy Rations

2010-05-21T14:48:00.000-07:00

Get me bagels. But not blueberry. Any kind of bagels but blueberry.

I think that you should make me a shopping list of what you would like to eat.

And it needs a graphic symbol. A picture of a bagel in a circle with a red line through it. And don't forget to draw little blue dots.

Post Game

2010-05-01T10:36:00.000-07:00

I tried out game night at a Capital Hill store last night. The sign-up list showed 5 women were planning to attend, But only one other showed up, and she left before playing started. So it was me and 9 geeky guys. Not the worst thing in the world. Posting for posterity, because who knows when this will happen again: I won two games that I had never played before. They were called Tuvalu and Astro(something).

In raw food news, I have 25 pounds of tomatoes. I went shopping with mangoes in mind, but the ways of the Jedi Market are unpredictable. You never know what will be abundant and in good shape. Eating some now with cucumber and green onion.

Charoset

2010-03-29T15:30:00.000-07:00

I have my daughter mincing apples. She keeps stopping to ask if the pieces are small enough yet. It takes a long time to mince the ingredients enough.

Will I have to do this again?

Yes, every year. Also tomorrow.

I have to do this tomorrow?

Don't worry, it will get easier after you learn to use the food processor.

I could have used the food processor??? Why didn't you tell me that?

You need to have the complete charoset-making experience, grasshopper.

Haven't you seen that show?

Is that from a show? What show is it from?

The Green Grasshopper Hour.

Portal to Heck!

2010-03-17T07:17:00.000-07:00

I finished reading "Memoirs of Hecate County," by Edmund Wilson. Add a middle initial of "O" and you would have the name of a 20th century evolutionary biologist, but that would be an entirely different writer. I arrived at this book circuitously. The "Pet Shop Boys" have a song that includes the phrase "Finland Station" which google and wikipedia tell me is the name of a book about the precursors of the cold war. Without being clear on whether "Finland" was fiction or non fiction, I looked for it in a bookstore, and settled for "Hecate County", a collection of interconnected short stories, by the same author.

The writing style was very American. It reminded me of Edgar Allan Poe and F. Scott Fitzgerald. There is a first person narrator who alternates casual straightforward discussion of everyday life with concern that perilous supernatural forces may be at work, because what other reason could there be for the loneliness and ennui affecting everyone in his life. "Ellen Terhune" was the most Poe-like of the bunch. Our narrator stops by to see the title character and finds her sometimes his contemporary, sometimes herself at a younger age, and then, personifying one of her ancestors. The other stories don't rely on the fantastic, even the last one "Mr. and Mrs. Blackburn at Home" where he meets someone who may well be the devil, leaves plenty of room to think that he imagined it after a few too many drinks.

I found a note online erroneously claiming that "Hecate County" contained whole passages in Russian. This seems to refer to the "Blackburn" story which has one word with the Russian suffix "ka" and then a footnote to discuss why. What it does have is extensive use of of French. This starts slowly, a word or a phrase dropped into the English sentences. I muddled through this, not really seeing that it added anything to the story. In between, he comments in English on what was said, or on whether the style of French was sophisticated or provincial or old fashioned. As the sentences stretched out into paragraphs and then multiple pages, I started flipping them over to see where it ended. An afterword written by the author John Updike confessed that he hadn't read all of the French either.

"The Milhollands" story discussed the publishing industry. It showed how publishers began to use book clubs and newsletters to promote their products, and bemoaned the fact that what gets printed, and even what sells, may have minimal content. Ironically, the plot kind of fell apart in this one. I was expecting a snappy ending that never materialized.

"The Princess With the Golden Hair" seems to have attracted the most attention of the critics. Our hero is infatuated with a delicate damsel who lives in a castle-like home in the country. She flirts and he fantasizes that she can't possibly love her husband. He reluctantly admits to himself that as a writer and an art critic, he can't afford the kind of estate where some of his fellow Hecaters entertain, and that this diminishes his marriage potential. While spending the winter in New York city, our hero meets a dance-hall hostess who becomes the unacknowledged princess in his life. Her accessibility at first doesn't seem romantic, and her family life is frightening, but he finds himself growing very attached. Their class differences scare him. He runs back to the original damsel in the story, to find that while lovely, she is hopelessly neurotic, and firmly in love with her husband.

The New York Times published a scathing review in 1946. http://www.nytimes.com/1946/03/07/books/wilson-hecate.html

In the Na'vi

2010-01-19T00:53:00.000-08:00

Where can you ride dragons?
Drink out of crude flagons
Flick your ears and swish your tail?
Bare but for scant feathers figleafing your nethers
Scamper over hill and dale
Where can you talk to trees?
And learn to dodge banshees
Brush up on your archery?
Ride a pa'li horse
And find your inner source
When you're one of the Na'vi

In the Na'vi
Yes, you can live among the stars
First the lab phase
Scientists grow you in a jar
In the Na'vi
You're there, your body is afar
In the Na'vi In the Na'vi
YOU CAN BE AN AVATAR!
In the Na'vi
Use your dendrite ponytail
In the Na'vi
To communicate with quail
In the Na'vi
YOU CAN BE AN AVATAR!
In the Na'vi In the Na'vi In the Na'vi (In the Na'vi)

They are blue, they are blue
They are blue and you can be too!

Trade in your transformers
Flying tanks and robots
And smart alec milit'ry crew
For some body paint
Tree climbing 'til you're faint
And maybe some cliff diving too
Hear as evening falls
The distant caterwauls
Of Nantang wolves but have no fear
Gathered 'round the fire
A Na'vi spirit choir
Emanates notes of a seer

In the Na'vi
Yes, you can live among the stars
First the lab phase
Scientists grow you in a jar
In the Na'vi
you're there, your body is afar
In the Na'vi In the Na'vi
You can be an avatar!
In the Na'vi
Use your dendrite ponytail
In the Na'vi
To communicate with quail
In the Na'vi
You can be an avatar!
In the Na'vi In the Na'vi In the Na'vi (In the Na'vi)

Community Chest

2009-11-10T19:50:00.001-08:00

Vampires at the Lake

2009-07-31T23:27:00.000-07:00

I wore a cape. The sun was still up, and I wanted to wear a hat, but Maddy was certain that Vampires have uncovered, long flowing hair. Image google "vampire" - none were wearing hats. image google "vampire hat" they were in top hats or fedoras. Fully equipped, I sallied forth.

Aurora Avenue, there was something metal that could have been a shell casing in the gutter. A rehab computer store looked interesting, but the curtain was about to go up. Live performance at Green Lake with teenage actors playing whiny high schoolers, the undead, and reveling in playing pompous teachers and parents.

Vampire Story begins with two young women planning what they will say about their histories when they arrive in a new town. One will go to school, the other one, as her older sister will get a job as a cocktail waitress. The student tells her Drama class that she has been alive for 200 years, beginning life in a French orphanage. She later writes more about it in the form of a play, adding period costumes, a mother who ran a brothel, and hinting at how becoming vampires was the only way that they could have survived. Her classmates vacillate between believing her stories and wondering if she is crazy. Some begin to fear her, as other characters are found to be missing, or die unexpectedly. There was never a concrete resolution which which side the playwright wanted the audience to come down on. The story seemed to change with the retelling, was it an orphanage or boarding school, in France or in England? But that difference could have been due to tailoring the story to her audience. And what of the opening scene where names and ages are recited and memorized? That could have been the formation of a cover story, or it could have been the more responsible character preparing the confused younger one to appear sane, even if she had to fake it.

Hilarious ask the cast session afterwards with a little kid asking one of the actors if he felt uncomfortable with some of the physical closeness in one of the scenes. It mirrored a spot in the play, where the kids were asking the new students about their lives, and the teacher was ruling most of the questions inappropriate.

I stepped outside at intermission to see a huge crowd of bicyclists. They were Critical Mass, escorted by two police officers on bikes, and tailed by police cars, even though this was a trail and not a road. The director spoke to a few cyclers because if they stayed there when the play resumed, they would be heard inside the theater. Someone announced a street corner a block away where they would reconvene, and they mounted up.

Pepe's cousin

2009-07-01T13:01:00.000-07:00

Close encounter with a skunk this morning. I was exploring a cul de sac and Sophie-Pup took an insistent run at a small cedar. Under it was a small, wide-tailed black and white creature. I'm positive that it wasn't a cat, because the Sophster regards cats neither as rivals as she does other dogs, nor as food as she does thrushes, ravens, and squirrels. We got surprisingly close, but fortunately the leash ran out before she could touch it.   All parties left the scene in as sweet-smelling a state as they entered it.  Whew.

Yo-yo, walking the dog

2009-06-26T12:18:00.000-07:00

A pug beagle mix is the newest adventure in my life. After a few May and June mini-hikes on weekends, I wanted to add more exercise the rest of the week. Tuesday night, Maddy's boyfriend Jiff came over. I fed the two teens hot dogs, and we watched "Notting Hill", a bland romantic comedy. Jiff's mom has a dog that doesn't get to go for walks very often, and suddenly, despite my complete inexperience with canines, I felt an inspiration: I could walk Hilda's dog!

Hilda was surprised that i wanted to, and was happy to have it done, yet irritated that it would involve answering the door early in the morning. I took Jiff along in case I needed a technical consult, and my daughter Maddy accompanied us to make sure that we didn't talk about her. (As if the two people who know her best could have anything more to discover.)

When we arrived, Hilda didn't clip the leash on all of the way, and Sophie-Pup escaped between our legs and out of the front door. Jiff raced after her, but he slipped and skinned his arm on the driveway, allowing her a head start that took three blocks to overcome. Maddy and I met him halfway as he was carrying her back, and he clipped the leash on, then handed her over to me. We walked a scant mile, and it all went well, despite her almost constant muscular pulling and testing. A very short length seemed to work best, with occasional pauses to calm down before continuing. -- Maddy was horrified by the pooper scooping obligation.

Thursday and Friday I tackled it on my own. Walked farther, and faster, and talked to other ladies with pooches in the park. Today I got to see duckings, and a graceful blue heron. Sohie-Pup wanted to swim out to them, but I didn't allow it.

Orgone Energy

2009-06-24T13:22:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I went on a jaunt to Central Point Oregon. My daughter would insist on calling it a "road trip". She perceives neither the redundancy nor the hippie, sixties --as opposed to a drug "trip"-- implications of that bit of folksiness.

For the last month the buzz from my fellow Healthfoodians had been

Or-e-gon, oregon

and

Ya goin'?

My response had been: Ashland is far away, and camping implies mosquitos. I hadn't even considered the olfactory implications of porta-potty perdition. As the date grew closer, my buddy Dianne offered me a ride, and said that she already had a room reserved; a room, not camping. It all started to sound a little better. D's husband had been planning to go, but he's not manically obsessed with all that is raw and vegan and counting coconuts one by one, so he was thrilled to stay at home and not need to hire babysitters for their pets as long as D had company on the drive.

I swam in the mornings and then went to lectures about coconuts and raw pastry-making. There was a film about conscious birth and conception, and a workshop on growing your own oyster mushrooms. There were a couple of two-hour talks by David Wolf. Both times the schedule keeper eventually cut him off. He still had more to say. I met a few people from my online world, and, as most of you will probably know from your own experiences: they walk and talk EXACTLY the way that they type. It was a meeting of big personalities, where everyone had a chance to strut their stuff as celebrities of varying degree.

Mushroom cultivation overlapped with RawFu in the schedule, so I walked in after Fu started. "Oh My God, it's Bunny Berry!" "OMG, it's Priss!" Trooper Bunny handled my interruption with grace, and got back to her focus on self-acceptance and smoothies, even if you live in the deep-fried South.

Of course I took pictures.

Rock formation near Medford OR.

Local flora

With my roommate Dianne

David Wolf and I are like this.

OMG, Bunny Berry irl.

Sexy Exhibitionist Guys at the Reggae Concert

2009-05-27T16:09:00.000-07:00

Bob Marley on his shoulder?

Perma-Stickers!

Nice smile, wanna dance?

Contents Unknown

2009-05-17T11:27:00.000-07:00

What WAS the true nature of the schmutz ornamenting my bedroom window?

Bird excrement? Unlikely. It originated on a cold night in a vicious thunderstorm. What kind of a birdbrain would go out in that kind of weather? If someone tells you: "The dyspepsic bird flies at night." They are probably testing to see if you give the countersign. You know, because you are their spy versus spy contact. I suggest turning tail and skipping away unless you are willing to accept the plans to the doomsday device and ferry them to the next cell in the chain.

In addition to the rain and the lightning, I could hear the upstairs neighbors shuffling around, while they are usually comatose.

Now, turning to the actual substance which was yellow-brown, waxy, hard to scrape off, and smelled disgusting-

A day sunny enough to take the screen off and clean the outside of the window is what brought on my encounter with unpleasant organic matter-

Vinegar and detergent and a nylon sponge, and a plastic straight-edge were employed to ultimately successfully remove-

What looks to be upstairs condo vomit.

Space, the year 2009

2009-05-09T07:26:00.000-07:00

"I have extensive aural sensitivities."

That's what Uhura said as a bid to move to flagship crew from entry-level raw cadet. "Raw" in the sense of being new and untested. It is rare for a Starfleet officers to experience trial by fire. The Trek movie opened yesterday. It was all over the region, but I had to see it in Gig Harbor. Smiley drove, (Oh yes, there is a guy friend in my life now, who shall be known here in the Prissiverse as "Smiley")

Trek was better than I could have imagined. As a science fiction fan, I look for things that don't seem important to most movie-makers. Things like:

An actual plotline!

Characters that you can tell apart from each other!

Ridiculous accents!

This had it all. Plus the above-quoted double-entendre. There were also: a bar fight - for you guy on guy action fans, absolutely insane space images, incredible opening credits, and the now-obligatory trudging through the snow on an Alaskan planet, that SF dramatizations generally succumb to. By the end of the 2 hours and 7 minutes, I felt accepting of the new cast. It was great to see Nimoy back too. I missed Shatner. He would have been ideal for the ending voice-over.

New Pic with Zbig

2009-03-20T18:03:00.000-07:00

Crocusoidal Maniac

2009-02-22T12:25:00.000-08:00

Rahm bahm thank you mahm

2009-02-11T13:26:00.000-08:00

I found this current editorial by the aged Fidel Castro courtesy of the Huffington Post. It fascinates me that he mentions Immanuel Kant, because I am currently reading "Writings on an Ethical Life" by Peter Singer. Singer adores Kant, but notes with stunned amazement that Kant was a believing Christian. The implication I derive, is that in Singer-world, heavy-hitters of philosophy should really be Atheist or Jewish. I tend to concur.

Getting back to the Castro article, it is literate, it is surreal, it is nonsensical. Yet it has a certain coherence. If Fidel hadn't been a Communist dictator, he could have been a Talmudist, or maybe a Depak Chopra style guru of everything. I am finding myself firmly in the Barbara Walters camp: Castro is a lot of fun.

Fidel calls his titular topic, Rahm Emanuel, "brilliant", and wants to stir up excitement because Emanuel was a warrior in a real war. Also, his mother has been a political activist. Why this is just like someone with a similar name, someone who has a revolutionary, vice president mother, a character in a book by a Cuban ambassador! Castro longs for charismatic, energetic leaders to emerge. Maybe an American, maybe someone with a vaguely hispanic surname. . . .

Dategirl and her readers of assorted gender just want to make out with Rahmmy-baby. Apparently they aren't the only ones.

Skirmish in the war to preserve roof integrity

2009-02-02T18:17:00.000-08:00

Today I saw a squirrel skip merrily up the trunk of a Western Cedar. The tree had been outfitted with an aluminum collar. A two-foot wide swath of metal, lined with plastic, it had been placed there to prevent the fluffy-tailed rodents from climbing the trees, and then gaining access to the roof. The next counter-offensive may have to be the removal of all trees within squirrel-jumping distance of the building.

As it bounded over the useless defense mechanism, I could almost hear a victorious cry in the squirrel tongue:

I laugh at your anti squirrel technology!
All of your hazelnuts shall be mine.
Ta-ta, until we meet again.

Beware the non-dairy art of self defense

2009-01-28T13:55:00.001-08:00

Some virus-infected rawfoodian must have breathed on me last weekend. The sneezing masqueraded as an allergic reaction to the plague of pet cats and dogs, but it was soon followed by a sore throat, and an all-over achiness swiftly ensued. I'm on the mend now. I'm still sniffling like crazy, but the every bone in my body hurts like crazy is diminishing by the hour. If anyone were to give me any trouble, my Kraft-Margerina skills would kick in unbidden, and the assailant would suffer instant flattenization.

Hallelujah

2009-01-24T07:27:00.000-08:00

Last night I went to a performance by a gospel music group. The most cynical definition of music is to regard it as a form of hypnosis. Religious belief and practice too, could be looked at as means of regulating crowd behavior, using the powerful tools of creeds, repetition, rhythm, behavior modeling, using up all of your waking moments . . .

These guys rocked!

I'm feeling some fusion inspiration. This can only lead to more lyrics.

LOL Luminati

2009-01-20T16:21:00.001-08:00

I was asked if I could get here at 5 PM, so I got here at 4. Using public transportation got me to the street entrance a mile away from the banquet hall. One of the Looms kindly gave me a ride up the hill, but he was shocked when I told him the event I was here to attend is a party for President Obama.

"They're having THAT here?"
"Yes, they rented the clubhouse."

The thought that Democratic money spends just like any other kind, calmed the club-weilder, and he pointed out the entrance to the building.

Woo, the souvenir table isn't even set up yet, and someone already bought two custom-etched commemorative wineglasses.

Four-armed is an Indian Temple Sculpture

2009-01-20T04:19:00.000-08:00

Two white grapefruits whirled in the blender, plus a quart of water went into a half-gallon jug that used to hold honey. Along with pears, an orange, celery sticks, and green tea bags, it is being packed along to protect me from any coffee and doughnut temptations during today's inaugural festivities. Sweater and jeans and Doc Martens for the AM, tank top and velvet skirt and Mary Janes for the PM. Look for me behind the laptop bearing the sticker " My other computer is a Cray."

Henry VIII on Ecstasy (LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE IN OUTER SPACE Episode 2)

2008-12-30T20:35:00.000-08:00

Today on LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE IN OUTER SPACE, Tom Lehrer guest stars as Henry the Eighth. As the new girl in town, Captain Laura is targeted to be his seventh wife, the first six having mysteriously perished. Tom reprises the "Silent E" song that he wrote for the Electric Company.

what can turn a nil into a nile
and turn mil into a mile
and do it all with style
and never appear vile
the grandiosity of silent e

tie-dye with rit
wear it to a rite
do zazen sit
post it on your site (that's right!)
all cybernetically with silent e

it's not that far
so compare your fare
go by car
or maybe by air (if you dare)

if you care how
you travel to there
there's informa
tion that you can share
take my dare and do your hair with silent e

some guys are fat
it may be their fate
try lifting weights, work out your lats -and don't be late
could a guy like dat (Henry VIII)
ever get a date?
sometimes even a mat, can have a mate!

they met at a bar
and soon they were bare
by a a horse-shaped crater
called the mar of mare
and then she escaped
to her prairie lair
more adventures were awaiting way out there

i kitty kat, plz to call me "kate"
hijacked this song, you'll just have to wait.
i'm in your parody
explorin' don't ya see
seekret felinity of silent e

lets have a spat, or maybe a spate
of cheeze burgers
and go roller skate
so many choices what goes on your plate
the cat in the hat's hat, like it or hate? (take my survey!)

Every Planet Comes to Prissville

2008-12-16T21:18:00.000-08:00

Aim point RA: 19h 27m 24s Dec: −16°14'21"
Wed 2008 Dec 17 2:43 UTC

Explain symbols in the map.

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Declination:		North South
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Paste orbital elements below: Echo elements

Ephemeris:

	Right Ascension	Declination	Distance (AU)
Sun	17h 40m 29s	−23° 21.8'	0.984
Mercury	18h 32m 29s	−25° 25.1'	1.340
Venus	20h 54m 29s	−19° 41.0'	0.896
Moon	9h 53m 12s	+11° 16.7'	58.4 ER
Mars	17h 26m 45s	−23° 47.3'	2.458
Jupiter	19h 50m 29s	−21° 24.8'	5.947
Saturn	11h 32m 9s	+5° 9.8'	9.243
Uranus	23h 20m 23s	−5° 5.6'	20.189
Neptune	21h 38m 2s	−14° 30.1'	30.566
Pluto	18h 2m 27s	−17° 43.4'	32.544

Back to Virtual Telescope Up to Your Sky Credits Customise Help

by John Walker

Images produced by Your Sky are in the public domain and may be used in any manner without permission, restriction, attribution, or compensation. Back links to Your Sky are welcome.

Donny Joel Prissment

2008-11-29T14:16:00.000-08:00

Choose a letter "A" through "D"
If you like, choose two, or three
Comment back so all can see
Your choice of etymology

The word "Don" or "don"

A. Should be used only as a proper name, or as a nickname for "Donald".

B. Works well as a latinate title for the godfather, and for that Don Quixote guy who tilts at windmills, and doubles gracefully as part of the name of Mr Rogers' donkey puppet who was named after the windmill aficionado..

C. Is a grudgingly tolerated archaism in a song about "gay apparel" but should never see the night of day, nor the candlelight of night otherwise.

D. Is your favorite word and you screech it repeatedly every morning as you costume yourself for public appearances:

I'm donning my socks!
I'm donning my shoes!
I'm donning my false eyelashes!
And so on, until your desired raiment has been fully applied.

And you also helpfully remind your family and friends:
Honey, don your jacket. It's cold out there!

And you are writing a screenplay called "The Donners of Donlington" which is about customers of the haute couture fashion industry as they stand in line for for fashion shows, and go back to the studio for second and third fittings, and most of all, scramble to rake in the dinero, (or in this case the "donero") to afford such cheddar-slicing-edge attire. There's a climax as various characters get dressed for the ball. (What am I saying? I mean: as they DON their new DUDS.) And an epilogue over the credits as they sally forth in cars and carriages, then alight upon red carpets and dance the night away. If it sells, you are hoping to have Robin Leach, or Ross the Intern as narrator.

Robert A. Heinlein, Choreographer

2008-11-21T14:20:00.000-08:00

--Today Robert A. Heinlein guest stars on Little House On the Prairie In Outer Space as the imperious commandant of a military dance academy. He also sings. --
Like to sing along? Youtube can be of assistance.

RAHC

If you want to be
An author just like me
Nod to science, cater to the
Lust for freedom, to do the hula

I can keep my writing up
I just might never stop
A Universe of Real Estate
Of mineral rights and boilerplate

Remember my name
RAH!

I'm gonna be here awhile
I will continue to rule
RAH!

Hefner bathrobe is my style
Students will read me in school
RAH!

I have a high-tech jaccuzi
There's never a bathtub ring
RAH!

Bisexual women excite me
But other guys aren't my thing

Remember
Remember
Remember
Remember
Remember
Remember
Remember
Remember

Sometimes in life we triumph
And play a good chess game
Just remember you could do worse
Like in that parallel Universe

I'll meet you in timeline three
Baby save a seat for me
I'll bring a laser, we'll shoot quail
And talk to Doolittle's cyrstal snail

Remember my name
RAH!

Time travel will force a plot forward
When you're fresh out of ideas
RAH

All of my cream comes from Sequim
I never eat quesadias
RAH

Gold is the way of the future

Although you can't eat it, you know
RAH

Nor is it easy to carry

When disguised as a hobo

Remember, Remember, Remember, Remember

Ahoy Planets New, With My SISTER CREW

2008-11-13T16:02:00.000-08:00

(More from Little House on the Prairie in Outer Space opening credits.)

Starring

PRISS PRISSTOFFERSON

BELLE UNDERHILL and FELICE NAVIDAD

Our Starship is The Prairie

2008-11-13T13:23:00.000-08:00

(From Little House on the Prairie in Outer Space opening credits.)

Little House on the Prairie IN OUTER SPACE

2008-11-11T22:34:00.001-08:00

The series continues. (Sing this to the tune of the Little House on the Prairie TV Show.)

When the great plains aren't vast enough
And Walnut Grove town is stifling
It's time for a change
So lets re-arrange our molecules
And teach galactic school

"The Prairie" 's the name of our rocket ship
Left western horizons for beyond
If energy ports
Should morph out of sorts there's hydrogen
In Plum Creek and Blackberry Pond

Laura's a whiz at the tiller
Mary's clairvoyant carefree
Our computer "Pip"
Is Paw (in a chip) and Jack-kuri
Is our Robo-puppy

Off to new worlds and more planets
Big, small and some frothy foam
Why we pioneer?
The answer clear that soon we'll find
A place for our new home

Veterans and PTSD

2008-11-06T17:52:00.000-08:00

Private health insurance companies try to exclude the more expensive patients. This Orange County Weekly article explains that a significant number of war veterans are losing their publicly funded medical benefits as well. Since lifelong psychiatric care weighs heavily on the Veterans Administration budget, eligibility has been taken away from those who received dishonorable discharges. It seems obvious that people in that situation, mostly men, are seriously in need of care. It could be argued that disciplinary problems made them less deserving than others, but that conclusion will not make their health problems go away. As some of them have a history of violence, providing this care, even simply monitoring their condition, is more than a gesture of compassion, it is in the interest of everyone, a matter of selfish public safety.

I don't want to discount compassion. Access to medical care is essential for non-veterans too. If we need a public interest reason to justify it, I think that some of the people who receive good care, will go on to pass on care and support to the rest of society.

Lightning Illuminates

2008-11-05T00:39:00.000-08:00

I attempted live-blogging from the election night Illuminati gala, but while the wifi gave four bars, the internets were denied to me. The computers projecting news feeds on wall screens were wired in.

I got there earlier than planned, and the dining event was still in full swing. Madame ChairLady added me to the list, and I pinned on a name tag. A non-sucky band played, and among the animal and pasta and cake and cookie dishes was a salad bar with raw cauliflower.

Seeing the faces of people in the crowds broadcast from around the country moved me. So much worry that skullduggery would steal this, or that a close count would drag things out. So much joy that Obama has been declared the winner. News bureaus say so, concession speech, VICTORY speech. A done deal.

My companions needed to stay late to finish their hosting duties. So I was still there when our Governor, Christine Gregoire went over the top and made a victory speech on television. I got a bumper sticker and two bilingual campaign buttons. I had my picture taken with Barrack. Now to read the speeches that I half heard above the roar of the crowd.
Posted by Prisstopolis at 12:39 AM 0 heard from
Labels: election night, pictures, politics, presidential campaign, raw food

Fu Yu

2008-11-04T15:36:00.001-08:00

The voting has been done. Straight Democratic ticket, and if one of the non partisan judicial candidates enjoys the similarly gendered, so much the the fairer meting of justice there shall be. I picked up a free coffee with brown sugar at Starbucks. It was made from burnt beans that were over-boiled, truly an incentive to stick to carrot juice or green tea! I voted against all of the initiatives except for one increasing public transportation. It is expensive and will probably fail.

Here in Washington State we considered something billed as the "death with dignity" initiative if you were in favor, or as "medically assisted suicide" if you were against it. I'm in the against camp, even though it is likely to pass. I've looked at the argument in favor. The prescription would be available only to those expected to expire naturally within six months, and they would have to submit to a psychological interview and be determined to be mentally competent.

In Judaism, doing away with yourself is a strict no-no. It can be looked at as self-murder. The way that we rationalize it and forgive those who are assumed to have done this, is to believe that they must have been depressed, they must not have been in their right minds. So I'm in favor of thorough pain relief, I'm in favor of treatment for depression, and I'm definitely in favor of not unnaturally prolonging lives of comatose people dependent on respirators. Hospitals and hospice care have come a long way in establishing guidelines to prevent that from happening. A lot of people that I know who have religious faith and practice seem to able to support this initiative and not find a conflict. Our State voted on a similar initiative 16 years ago and it failed at that time. This one is considered to be drafted more carefully.

The fuyu? More Japanese persimmons. Marked down because they were getting soft. Perfectly sweet and ready to dig into.

What a Vice President Does (The less, the better.)

2008-10-27T10:18:00.000-07:00

The Vice President is just there to serve as a backup in case the presidential disk crashes. There is also the rarely required tie-breaking vote in the Senate. NOTHING ELSE.

Voters hope that if a VP assumes the presidency, ongoing administration policies will be continued, but the new guy has no obligation to do so. Ideally, a running mate is chosen based on sharing the philosophies of the main candidate.

All of this adviser, lobbyist, little helper, ghetto enforcer, brains behind the machine, surrey-with-the-fringe-on-top window-dressing is not why we have one. Although a VP can come in handy to represent the U.S. at foreign funerals, or to toss out the first baseball of the season.

A conscientious VP would spend time every day reading the congressional record, the newspapers, twitter, and anything the president sends over.

The idea is to stay informed, to be ready if called upon.

Vote Like a Pirate

2008-10-23T12:19:00.000-07:00

Aye, the tide is turning me fine lasses and laddies. Election day draws nigh and soon we'll be having a hack and slash sword fight with the scurvy varlets of that bilious Brigantine known as the S.S. Diebold as they divide up the resultin' booty. A call rings out across deck-plank and dock, 'All ashore that's goin' ashore!" Unabashed Republicans the likes o' Colin Powell and Representative Jim Leach have let it be known to one and all that a McCain presidency is a calamity up with which they will not be puttin'. Television talking heads such as Katie Couric and David Letterman find it impossible to interview an R candidate without lapsin' into eyerollin' and into lip curlin' sneers. Chris Matthews expressed his disgust that McPain has no idea what the constitution is tellin' us about what a vice president does, and R speechwriter David Frum says that while he may still vote for his lily-livered passel of lamers, he washes his hands of the ham-handed hodgepodge they've been after foistin' upon the American people.

These hard-core henchmen of the establishment are like rats leavin' a sinkin' ship. Conversly, they are like new-signed landlubbers anxious to get their sea-legs under 'em as the ship of State casts off for new waters. Middle of the roaders hate to be left stradling a gangplank as it folds up for four years of hold storage.

So pack yer hardtack and put on yer Sou'Wester. It's time to fish or cut bait.

Andbing Owashisnamo

2008-10-21T21:08:00.000-07:00

I posted a Twitter about making beet juice. Beets can stain your skin or your clothes resulting in a MARK OF THE BEETS. This sounds like a name. It follows the same form as Robin of Locksley, Will O'theWisp, and Bugs Bunny's friend: Cirrhosis of the Liver. let us look into into the Prisstopolis phone book to see what similar names lie on the "O" page:

First, there are names employing an apostrophe

Tortoise O'Hare
Cree O'LadyMarmelade
Port O'potty
Jell O'Puddingpop
Son O'Vagunwe'llbehavin'somefunonthebayou (A fine film. It was a sequel to the documentary treatment of his father.)

Then, some names that do indeed start with "O"

Ro-de O
Desert Oasis
Atlantic Ocean
Pacific Ocean
Cinccinatti Ohio
Holly Oleeoxenfree
Aut Omation
Jackie Onassis
Show Opening
RedroverredroversendPrisstopolisright Over
Fatal Overdose

And finally, some people are listed who have first names that begin with "O" and really belong on other pages.
E., O'Mall
Swamp, Okefenokee
Isme, Ohwoe
Dale, Over
Hill, Over

Plumber Joe, Surfer Joe, Peggy Sue

2008-10-16T18:58:00.000-07:00

I haven't seen Mark Russell on a television set near me lately, but he used to show up several times a year on public channels with his red, white, and blue draped piano and political satire set to Broadway tunes. The last time that the stock market suffered a "correction," he explained that two days earlier had been "Black Monday, followed by Gray Tuesday, and today is Beige Wednesday."

Wikipedia informs me that Marky-baby is still above the sod. I never saw him use any rock and roll songs, but he's my inspiration for this little ditty.

Do you know plumber Joe
Keeps your float valve on the go
That plumber, plumber Joe-ho ho
Oh when you gotta go you you need a plumber in the know

Kitchen sink, to pour a drink
Like to hear those glasses clink
I neeed a workin' kitchen sin-hi-hink
Can't pour a drink without a workin' kitchen sink

Water flow, money dough
Cheddar to top your nacho
He's keepin' your taxes lo-ho-ho
Because a liquid lucre has got to have that flow!

(Chuck Berry style guitar solo)

Quarter mill, such a thrill
Or just a think tank well-paid shill
This message is getting shri-hill-hill
We can fix this mess if you just let me DRILL BABY DRILL

Adequately Insulating

2008-10-11T21:04:00.000-07:00

Just for Moderatly Entertaining, Today I had occasion to ask a shopkeeper if there were a hat department.

There was!

I did not take the game to the next level of asking for the back-up hat department. And I left without any new millinerial acquisitions. Their selection was simply not up to muster.

In another venue, I was able to procure a CTJ.* It has a hood, which somewhat obviates any hatational requirements.

*CTJ is the Prisstonian word for winter outerwear. It is an acronym for Coat 'til June.

A Brand New Dance Now

2008-10-04T11:31:00.000-07:00

The governor of California is asking Congress for an estimated seven billion dollars because in his lean, mean, low-taxing machine, there is suddenly not enough money to run the State.

According to the Treasurer of California:

"California may be forced to halt or significantly delay payments for teachers' salaries, nursing homes, law enforcement and 'every other state-funded service. . .'"

I can imagine all of those public servants, including the groundskeepers and cafeteria workers, missing a paycheck and filing for unemployment benefits. --Of course there would be no one on hand to process the paperwork.

Just like the private bailout, this is being framed as a loan, in this case a short term one. So if we "print money" to give to California, and then they pay it back, it could be removed from circulation with no harm done right? Except I don't think it works that way, I think that the money supply will just expand that much faster.

And California can't be the only place with liquidity issues. Get ready for the rest of the States with skinflint "small government" legislatures to hold out their hands on the Beltway breadline.

The bailout boogie is just beginning.

May you have sweetness in the New Year

2008-10-01T16:21:00.000-07:00

Mmmmmmmm.

"midriff-bearing" in avoidance of bearing down

2008-10-01T13:13:00.000-07:00

I posted a response to a Slate column purely to question their word choice. The article discussed and linked to an advertising campaign for hormonal contraception. It compared birth-control pills (so five-minutes-ago,) with a silicon pessary (up-to-the minute, plus it may even tone your abs.)
This consummate acquiescence to a manufacturer in the form of product placement was disappointing to me, because it advances the pharmaceutical industry message that choosy (non)mothers choose pregnant mare urine. There are methods that don't involve hormones at all, and I would like to see those promoted and made easier to use.

The Maverick Scale

2008-09-26T20:26:00.000-07:00

Supreme Maverick of the Universe (One can only dream)
Maverick of Pennsylvania Avenue (Maybe later)
Maverick of the Senate (McCain now)
A Good Maverick with me (Applies to Palin)
Fair to middlin' Maverick (Repub Senate candidates)
Simple Ordinary Maverick (Repub House candidates)
Hardly a Maverick at all (other party candidates)
Non Maverick (people not running for office)
Chipped beef on toast (chipped beef on toast)

Umm, McCain had numerous pronunciations for "nuclear"

noo koo LEER, noo koo LER, noo KOO ler, and the normal NOO klee er. Talk about appealing to a diverse electorate!

And thank you to my local maverick Seattle area stores and utilities for accepting my WaMu money and not refusing it as worthless Quatloos. They are TRUE mavericks.

I just saw a recast of the September 24th CBS Katie Couric interview

2008-09-25T04:02:00.000-07:00

Dear Senator Obama,

Do not suspend your presidential campaign, Do not suspend it for one minute. Go to the Senate floor for negotiations and votes, and maintain contact with your constituency by electronic means. Have your family and campaign staff, and those of Senator Biden, continue to appear at rallies. Your opponent's slimy request that you abandon your quest for a Democratic Administration is motivated by his desires to increase his own pocketbook and those of his fellow super-rich. Another Republican Administration would accelerate America's divide into a country of haves and have-nots, where the have-nots are increasingly denied the right to vote. Work for change. Stay on the campaign trail.

Democratically yours,

Priss Prisstofferson

Dear Senator McCain,

Why what a clever idea. If the campaign is suspended, the other candidate will never get to meet the public and never get to answer their questions. Your greater name recognition might just edge you over the top. And clever too, to represent your call for him to pick up his marbles and go home as taking the high road. No, conceding to you would not be best for the public, it would be best for the arms dealers and insurance companies, and best for your retirement income someday when they would reward you for your role as a loyal vassal. Today we have telephones and video cameras. These can be combined into a powerful communication instrument that would allow you to stay in touch with the public and with the Press. You also have a running mate. You could request that the Vice-Presidential debate be held first, while you seclude yourself in a Senate committee room. It seems likely to me that Senator Biden would be willing to pop out of chambers, whip out a debate, and then dash back to the Capitol if there were really some effective stopgap plan to be hammered out. The Press has made much of your campaign's reluctance to take Sarah Palin out of the Saran Wrap, but debates are a traditional part of American Presidential races. If you back away from personally participating, you appear to have something to hide. So get out there and debate, or send your running mate in your stead. Wassamatter, are you yeller?

Republicanly yours,

Priss Prisstofferson

Accidental Cat Chaperone

2008-08-25T08:45:00.000-07:00

I heard a plaintive sound. Something outside, or was it in the lobby? It was intermittent, so I didn't investigate right away. The sound began again with more constancy, so I peeked out to take a look. An orange tabby had been wandering the halls, it was cozying up to one of my neighbors. It wasn't her cat. She pointed out an address tag on its collar, and said that she had to leave for work now.

The furry beast is now ensconced on my deck. There are plants to investigate and a bowl of water. I placed a board at the base of the screen door in an attempt to to shield it from those fearsome claws. But the wily creature worried its body between the door and the board easily removing the barrier. Now it is sitting outside, a few feet from my computer table, making poor little me noises.

A pink post-it is in place on the door of the presumed owners alerting them to the cat's location should they ever return. This superintendence can not become permanent. I'm having slight allergic symptoms already.

Key per

2008-08-03T19:45:00.000-07:00

McCain has a brother named McAbel

who hasn't been seen around lately.

Bliss Stick

2008-07-15T02:10:00.000-07:00

You can use it to point
To gesture emphatically
It is made out of wood
But didn't grow on a tree

4 out of 5 non-dentists
Would be forced to agree
That the bamboo back scratcher
Delivers ecstasy

It's Zbig's Birthday!

2008-07-08T18:12:00.000-07:00

I'm now the parent of an 18 year old.

Floats and Diggers

2008-07-07T18:21:00.000-07:00

Latest pool annoyance: A nylon rope with plastic floats now bisects the rectangle, not lengthwise creating a lane, but across the width. In pursuit of a segregated shallow area for non-swimmers, I am expected to turn my 30 mini laps into 60 DEMI-MINI laps. This is unacceptable.

My solution: Swim at an early dinner hour when the water is undiluted by juveniles. Untying the floating barrier was a snap. I then replaced it within half an hour. Yes, there were a few witnesses, but they will keep mum.

Water in, In Water

2008-06-20T15:43:00.000-07:00

The homeowner association rules state that while in the pool area one must "bring a nonalcoholic drink in a plastic container." Now usually I flaunt this, preferring to wait until later in my own dining room to attend to re-hydration needs, But the weather was warm today, so I brought an 8 ounce container of eau municipale along with my Liz Claiborne hat, and my goggles. There were a handful of kids in the pool throwing around beach balls, and they politely moved over a bit to accommodate my mini lap swimming. On one corner of the deck some non-aquatic types blabbed away in deck chairs. One of them found the need to chain smoke.

I didn't stick around much after swimming. It wasn't only the smoke, there was this alarming brightness everywhere. My hat and the Aveeno non-oily sunblock on my nose were no match for the ionizing radiation. When I got back, I mentioned the smoker to the PrissKids.

Zbigniew said, "You should have whipped out a one hundred page book and pointed to the rule."

I responded with more theoretics, "Here is my non-alcoholic drink in a plastic container. Where's yours? And put out that cigarette!"

Rolled Oaths

2008-06-16T20:17:00.000-07:00

A current Slate article discusses the practice of California State public colleges of requiring that new hires sign a loyalty oath as a condition of employment. Two teachers objected this requirement based on their religious beliefs. They are both Quaker, and the oath includes a provision that they will "defend" state and federal law against "enemies." To them, this terminology would commit them to engage in violence should the constitution of California or of the U.S. government ever come under attack. These two instructors have had some success after drawn out negotiations, in becoming eligible to work while objecting to that specific part of the oath.

This solution appalls me. Citizens and those with visas allowing them to work in this country are eligible to work in this country. Their employment should be based solely on ability and performance. While something like this may be appropriate for military and possibly for law enforcement, teachers should not be required to serve as a reserve militia. If their area of study extends to exploring possible constitutional changes, the product should be treated the same as any other researched opinion.

The problem is the loyalty oath, not one specific item within it.

Mark of the Beastie

2008-06-12T13:13:00.000-07:00

Camera recognition of hand signals, or of other body movements, eventually including facial expressions is going to replace the touch pad inputs we have gotten used to. A small camera facing your hand could pick up signals for all text characters or menu/toggle choices.

In this video, the user outlines an object in their hand, or the hand itself for the camera. The program then recognizes it as a pointer for playing a game or using an interactive music application.

Video and article at Techcrunch

The only downside I see is that I may need to learn sign language.

This is going to be huge!

He did it!

2008-06-10T23:57:00.000-07:00

A major milestone for my eldest tonight. Beautiful ceremony, and I only cried a little bit. My daughter was there too, to cheer him on. Now it is midnight. They are sleeping like the babies that they used to be.

Media Reality

2008-06-10T10:46:00.000-07:00

Poignant article on the whole mother daughter dynamic. If any of you guys read it, comments here would be great. What it made me think about is that our lives aren't going to be idyllically perfect. Family life is stressful. That's why so many people who are financially able to live alone, end up doing so. (Then some of them bemoan their lack of a partner.)

The Zbigster is graduating from High School today, and Maddy is trying to get out of attending based on her homework and dance rehearsal obligations. Empty nesting is just around the corner here in Prisstopia.

Tweets in the twee-twops

2008-05-22T21:10:00.001-07:00

I just looked at http://tweetstats.com/ and generated cool graphs of my twitter activity and this "Tweetcloud" of my most-used words.

Gyrations

2008-05-11T21:37:00.000-07:00

I went to see a modern dance performance today. All I knew beforehand, was that my daughter’s friend was in it. It was an end of the year recital by 7 to 15 year olds. They all participate in the choreography, and the work was quite advanced. I thought about how much communication there is in gesture as they were able to transmit mood. Some of the dance steps were straight out of yoga class, and they used muscle to lift each other. Facial expressions were a big part of the storytelling as well.

It was a mother-daughter day, my son having demurred at the balletic excursion, and we also went to a vegetarian restaurant to hang out with some raw fooders. I traded lists of smoothie ingredients with a few people. One guy said that he feels an energy rush every time he drinks coconut water. Sometimes pineapple does the same thing to me.

On the way home, we stopped for produce at the Jedi market. I bought a cactus leaf, which has now been shredded in the cuisinart, and mixed with cilantro, onion, lime juice, tomato, and mexican spices.

We did quite a bit of walking too. I feel tired, but also, really good.

Raw-k Roll!

2008-04-28T14:55:00.000-07:00

(Sing this to the tune of "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley)

We're familiar with food that's cooked
You used to eat it and so did I
Just a taste is what I have in mind
You won't know if you like raw, until you try

Just a word about how great I've been feeling
Since I entered live foods land-

Never gonna steam it up
Never gonna boil it down
Never gonna roast a crown and skirt you
Never gonna gonna grill walleye
Never gonna braise Birds Eye
Never gonna toast on rye, and serve it to you

I've not been at this for very long
I know it all looks strange if you've not tried it
That's the message of this song
We could have pineapple, or raw banana split

And if you ask me why I do this
The results are easy to see-

Never gonna steam it up
Never gonna boil it down
Never gonna roast a crown and skirt you
Never gonna make you fry
Never gonna bake a pie
Never gonna carmine dye, and squirt you

Never gonna steam it up
Never gonna boil it down
Never gonna roast a crown and skirt you
Never gonna gonna grill walleye
Never gonna braise Birds Eye
Never gonna toast on rye, and serve it to you

Nightly Noobs

2008-04-26T21:47:00.000-07:00

Stay tuned for the Nightly Noobs with your anchors: May Zhorboubs and Fabula Snockers

Our meteorologist Ray Kneeskiez has the weather forecast

Tay Thurble will fill you in on the sports scores

Health reporter Rick Olah with a word on Spring allergies
The farm report is by Till Theland
Restuarant trends from Sue Shi
Political reports from Cam Payntrail and Em Tipromise

Special reports tonight from:

Global warming alarmist Harry Binger
Economist Law Fercurf
And art critic Jess O.

As always

Movie reviews from Moe Shun and Music scene by Lei Dievfspaine

Stay tuned!

MinHaggadah - Passover Shopping

2008-04-19T11:51:00.000-07:00

I told my daughter that I was going to buy some holiday groceries. She asked me what I was going to get. I already had apples, but we still needed the horseradish and more eggs. There was also the matter of the matzah.

"Don't we also need to get an orange?"

"If you say that we need an orange, then I will get an orange."

"But don't we NEED an orange."

"If an orange is part of your minhag, then we should have one."

She tried the phrase "supposed to" on me, but that didn't specifically apply either.

So, about the orange:

The seder plate includes five symbolic foods, although the seder is based around three symbolic foods including the unleavened bread which is not even one of the five on the plate. A Venn diagram might be useful here. Israeli seder plates include a space for a fresh green in addition to the mild parsley and the bitter horseradish. This is usually lettuce, and my haggadah does not mention any symbolism for it. An orange is not among the five.

There is a very modern story, probably originating in our lifetimes, and in my opinion, like an earlier one about George Washington and the cherry tree, quite likely after the fact, about the passover orange. Today there are many female rabbis, but this is a phenomenon of the last half century. Before that, rabbis were all male. Orthodox synagogues still do not have any women in rabbinical roles. Since those guys say that they are doing everything correctly, and all else is inauthentic imitation, adherents would be of the opinion that there STILL are no women rabbis.

We could get into many advantages and disadvantages of an all-male clergy. I like the idea that it gives men something to do. Hanging out with their rabbi and discussing a Jewish equivalent of how many angels can dance on the head of a pin provides camaraderie and defrays boredom. This can contribute to a congenial home life. When women are discouraged from this esoteric knowledge, some of them desire inclusion. For example, if I were more informed, I might understand the significance of the not-so-bitter Israeli lettuce. There is also an increasing trend of clerical authoritarianism, I see that as the real issue in this citrus conversation. When both sexes are involved in a process, that egalitarianism is transmitted to those they serve. That would be the congregations.

Returning to the orange:

Once upon a time, not too long ago, a young woman asked her rabbi if she could also become a rabbi when she grew up. He responded: "When women can be rabbis, there will be an orange on the seder plate." Since that time, oranges have shoe-horned their way onto crowded holiday tables.

The haggadah doesn't say anything directly about why an egg is included either, only that you need one. Tradition has always been an evolving fusion.

Ode to a Haircut

2008-04-05T08:20:00.001-07:00

(Sing this to the tune of "Somewhere Out There")
Somewhere nearby I hear the buzzing sound
A song of barbershop clippers hummed in four part round
Even closer my favorite seventeen-year old
Soon to undergo shortening of his glorious locks of gold

And though no razor`s touched his hair since last June or July
I`d like to think underneath that mane is still the same sweet guy

To the strip mall a mere mile away
First thing on the agenda of a balmy spring break day
As the strands fall it soon reveals a trace
Of what is becoming a grown-up chiseled face

Floor-length tresses no longer decorate my mature tyke
But by summer they may evolve into a surfer spike

This has been a successful haircut event
I for one am glad that both of us went
And the clippers continue buzzing along
Will your own teenager soon attend a concert of their song?

The Egress Boogie

2008-03-29T00:11:00.000-07:00

As to my Passover song of the previous post. http://pr1ss.blogspot.com/2008/03/not-too-early-to-start-preparing-for.html
I have a feeling that there will be more verses and some choruses, maybe many more.The bird watching reference has me particularly intrigued.

What if The Children of Jacob, and the Israelites, (whom I am not convinced were at that time precisely synonymous,) used the ploy of ornithological passion as a cover for their planned emigration? I can see them getting together ostensibly to discuss avian migration patterns and habitat, and to assemble gear for the upcoming observation expedition. Everyone, down to the the tiniest toddler, would be outfitted with hiking boots and canteens. They would monitor the phases of the moon and wait for weather conditions most conducive to egress activity.

On the street in passing, an Egress Society member would make a `quack-quack` gesture with one hand. Upon recognizing it, a fellow member would make the `quack` sign in return. In this way, Bird Watchers could safely become known to each other.

And now for a few more stanzas of the Egress Boogie

oh children of jacob,
we`re going to the dessert
soon the departure
the quest to be a nation
oh people of israel
we`re getting out of egypt
the prospect is daunting
but we`ll soon be on our way

now`s the time to go to the border
find a spring of mineral water
tell the story in the right order
it`s sahara time

passover, this is the time to remember
holiday, let`s have a good time
passover, this is the time to remember
holiday, let`s have a good time

Spring in Prissville

2008-03-27T14:40:00.000-07:00

A picture that I just took from my deck. Flowering cherry trees.

Not too Early to Start Preparing for Passover

2008-03-27T10:02:00.000-07:00

(Sing this to the tune of "Safari Time")
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpCpXfihXZU&feature=related

we are going to the sahara
hike the desert in my jalaba
hope i do not fall in the water
it's hegira time

soon it will be time for departure
roast a lamb and serve in a saucer
pack some meal to bake into matzah
it's sahara time

come along if you're a bird watcher
show egress to your son and daughter
hope i don't forget my binoc'lar
it's sahara time

Banana-vairsare

2008-02-13T21:54:00.000-08:00

My new glasses are here! Fun that they arrived on my Birthday. I'm very happy with the appearance and the fit. The directions for measuring made it easy. I'm reserving judgment on the prescription, it will take a few days to see if it needs tweaking.

My little brother Leo (aka the LBL) asked me in a phone call if I had cake. So I explained about the whole raw vegan thing. I did have some amazing longan berries berries today. They look like lychees, and my daughter said that they taste like wine. We put a few of the seeds into a flower pot to see if any of them sprout. The LBL said that limited diets always lead to binges on hamburgers for him, and that he expects the same for me. But I don't crave red meat at all. Chicken soup or sardines are another story. I can see wanting those occasionally. For now, I'm still charged up about how much better my joints feel, and my skin feels smoother too. Plus, unlike with a strictly reducing diet, I haven't felt hungry at all. If this keeps up, there is every indication of wearing very cute low-waisted jeans by summer.

Caucusoidal Maniacs

2008-02-09T16:48:00.000-08:00

My State caucuses were today. The one I attended was close-packed with people, but not at all a madhouse. I got there early and helped to set up and sign people in. This was Zbig`s first caucus, he isn`t 18 yet, but will turn 18 before the general election. That made him eligible to participate.

Good weather helped with the turnout, as did the neck and neck race between Clinton and Obama, coming out of Super Tuesday. If my precinct is any indication of a trend, the northwest is going heavily toward Obama. I`m torn. I like Clinton too, maybe more. I signed in uncommitted, and advanced as a delegate to the next level. This is new for me, I`ve always decided early in previous years. Being uncommitted means becoming a hot property. Other factions will try to sweet talk me into joining them.

Right now emails from Obama supporters are dropping into my email box at a rate around once a minute. Ping, ping, ping. I admire their passion.

Accuity Resolution

2008-02-07T04:24:00.000-08:00

WHEREAS
I found myself in need of new eye wear so that I can read books and newspapers. (Yes, something other than your lovely journals.)

AND WHEREAS
I have a history of walking out of LENSCRAFTERS with receipts for five hundred dollar bits of plastic and wire.

AND WHEREAS
Spending less makes sense for me.

AND WHEREAS
http://www.39dollarglasses.com/ and similar sites are just a click away.

AND WHEREAS
Some of them have further discounts if you add a coupon code to your order.

THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED
That ordering new glasses on line is worth a try.

I will let you know if the resultant product at all allows me to see.
Can you tell that it's caucus season?

Raucous

2008-02-07T04:22:00.000-08:00

I suddenly have the ability to feel full feel full after meals. Not stuffed full, but not focusing on what else looks good. Last night I bought raw almond butter and unsweetened chocolate and a bag of 4 avocados. But when I got home, all I ate was two peaches, and a cut up yellow pepper. The vegan-ness is unsettling my daughter a little bit. But I had already made chicken-vegetable stew for her, because I`m not pushing this at all. As a still growing kid, being an omnivore can be a good thing.
There have been a few news stories lately about nutrition featuring the phrase "food deserts." This refers to urban areas without grocery chain stores or farmers markets. Residents have to rely entirely on convenience stores where most of the foods sold are pre-packaged items with long shelf lives. By contrast, I am able to choose between so many fresh things, even now in February with sleet falling, and another snow storm threatening. I feel so blessed.

where my windshield wipers be at?

2008-02-05T14:29:00.000-08:00

I`m at a table next to the book store. I just got my eyes checked, and I can`t drive yet because the atropine drops that the optometrist used haven`t worn off yet. Eljay looks blurry. I brought some strips of a yellow bell pepper spread with peanut butter. I am munching on those along with a diet pepsi. Friday I read a slew of blogs about raw food diets and I have been somewhat trying that for the past few days. Obviously the soft drink doesn`t fit the category. The peanut butter is vegan, but not raw. Most of the hard core raw people don`t seem to eat legumes of any kind. I don`t think I would want to go that far. I like fresh peas, I`ve blended frozen peas into a raw dip.

Could I do it? Go completely raw. Probably not entirely. I might still make chicken soup occasionally. And I`m not going to deprive the PrissKids of any categories of food. They don`t have any of the eating whackiness that I do, and they seem to understand moderation. They do seem unable to ever have leftover pizza, but that is a singular exception. After avoiding dairy and bread products for a few days, I feel kind of better all over. That`s amazing for me. I haven`t really written about my pain issues here, but I have some long-term problems. Sometimes they are compounded by a general achy all over feeling, so to have relief from that overlay makes a huge difference. Yesterday I made guacamole and ate it on thin slices of zucchini. It felt so free to be able to have as much as I wanted without worrying about the calories in crackers, or in some main dish.

Raw for the time being, or semi-raw. If you want to take me out for Maine lobster I may make an exception :)

PS -Things are still blurry.
PPS- Still blurry and it`s after 6PM They said it would be 2 hours!

Tu BShevat and Sonnets

2008-01-19T03:07:00.000-08:00

My daughter asked me if I knew any words that rhymed with "lost." Other than using a rhyming dictionary, the most obvious method is to go through the alphabet: bossed, cost, dossed. Is dossed a word? I think it is, and an online dictionary says that it means going to bed. Which is perfect for poetry where the subject might want to bunk down, perchance to dream. And what about "dost?" The Internet says it is an archaic form of "does," I do, he dost. OK, yes, that sounds familiar, very "Prince and the Pauper." It turns out that she was writing a sonnet.

The main thing that I remembered about sonnets was that Sylvia Plath had science class anxiety, and she got her counselor to excuse her from having to enroll. But she found the atmosphere in study hall to be something like Mark Twain`s description of a Lacrosse game: two armies beating each other with sticks, with a hard missile occasionally denting someone`s head. So she asked the chemistry teacher if she could audit his class, and spent the sessions looking up to smile sweetly at him while writing sonnets and villanelles.

There are roughly three styles of sonnet, with the Shakespearean form being the favorite of ninth-graders. Maddy showed me a few well-known examples, all of which I recognized. I tried reading one out loud, and she said that I was not following the soft/hard pattern of iambic pentameter. Her English teacher recommends "head banging" to get the rhythm right. This rhythm can also be achieved by channeling Bela Lugosi, or the Sesame Street Count, or any Italian speaker. Also, each line must have ten syllables.

Your teacher said that you should bang your head
But I prefer to wave my arm instead

Yes, incorporating movement really did allow me to get into the sonnet groove. And as I shall be going to a service tomorrow where everyone has been asked to bring a rock or a feather or a quotation
OR A POEM
It seems only fitting to appear with my first ever Sonnetic effort.

today we mark the new year of the trees
wet sap awakens, hidden within bark
in two months the stubborn leaf buds it frees
shall burst knifelike and pallid in the park

soon greenish fronds seek sun to synthesize
added mass of stems, that bloom and set seed
winter shards cover up in springtime guise
avian creatures weave a house of reed

plantlike, sometimes emotion hibernates
when weather harsh restricts love`s easy flow
until hormonal heat initiates
capillary action`s flowery show

red rose hips in a scape barren of sprigs
a lone preserve: fall`s fruit upon stark twigs

THE LOLCAT CONVENTION

2008-01-02T21:49:00.000-08:00

(Sing this to the tune of Rainbow Connection by Paul Williams)

Why would I write a second
Song about LOLCATS
And places that they like to hide?
LOLCATS are characters
That live on the Internet
We try to take them in stride
Sneaky and saccharine
yet somehow alluring
With them we identify

Soon they will mass for
A LOLCAT convention
In a hotel of one mile high

LOLCATS are on your couch
Shedding on your cushions
They say it enhances decor
Now at your computer desk
One opens your browser
www.worldorfur
Soon they have altered your
Co-op shopping list
Pasting in cream over soy

LOLCATS just may achieve
Concatenation
Perhaps I should send an envoy

It`s easy to see that they
Are primal and clever
Feral, ferocious and sweet
LOLCATS are not afraid
To face adversaries
LOLCATS don`t shirk to compete
Daily I tune into news of disaster
Will major countries collide?

Somewhere the LOLCATs plot world domination
Let`s go along for the ride!

Oz Eggmore? I know Ozymandius! He's Lady Eggmore's grandson.

2007-12-10T15:55:00.000-08:00

So there was no interpretive dancing.

There wasn't even any circle dancing.

But there were cookies and latkes and stories and songs

Including one surprising new song. The lyrics were about flickering candles.

Our song leader played a few bars on the electric keyboard. The tune was strangely familiar. It had a shrill syncopated honky-tonk feel to it. I started to laugh. A few people looked at me oddly. How could notes without words be funny? I looked over at my daughter. She was laughing too.

Maddy said: do you know what this is?

I replied: Peter Cottontail!

She said: I know!

The vamp bars concluded. As we launched into the words, we both applied that slight southwestern rasp to our vowel sounds best befitting the style of the music.

Happy Holidays from Priss Prisstofferson 21314 to Blogshares and to all of my readers near and far!

Another Day, another candidate

2007-09-07T15:54:00.000-07:00

Fred Thompson seems to be slightly brain-damaged. Not to a degree of vegetable-itude, but there are clues in his speaking style that suggest permanent effects of a few solid knocks to the head. Oh look, the Google tells me that his spin organizations are bragging about his High
School football experience, and specifically that he wasn’t concerned when he got knocked down. Well, commendations on a non-whiny demeanor, but consolations on the attendant loss of emotional expression and the reduction in sharpness of enunciation. Has any capacity for compassion, conservative or otherwise, been retained? This year many of the Republican hopefuls exude an air of physical frailty. The one exception is Giuliani, with his cardio-fitness and irritating perkiness. Last week I saw several magazine covers with illustrations of Giuliani along with Clinton and Obama. It was interesting that they didn't include Romney. Was Romney omitted from the spotlight out of predjudice, or are publishers trying to sell Giuliani as a psuedo-Democrat, as the perfect middle of the road-er, simply because he is from the east coast? If he were elected, he would support whatever the republicans in Congress asked him to. The press may try to assign him the perception of having good intentions, but he would sign the same bills that any other Republican would.

But I've ventured into policy and I wanted to talk about style. Thompson is seen as the one hope to draw in those non-denominational fundamentalist family values voters who the regressive tax policy, anti-health care, anti-school proponents can't win without. His religious affiliation is one they share, and the halting speech adds folksiness to his image. Primary voters don't make their choices based on who they think will do well across the country, they look at the issues and at how candidates talk about them. If Romney should become the nominee, it is going to be fun to watch the right regroup to embrace him, and float third-party candidates, and even vote for church-going Democrats who value their families.

Total Eclipse

2007-08-28T16:19:00.000-07:00

Climactic vagaries and inattention have generally combined to hide the Lunar Eclipses from me. This time they failed to hand off duties in any theoretical or coincidental alliance. I pitched the viewing idea to the PrissKids; our own driveway, or perhaps a park? Staying up all night appealed, but the celestial event garnered no underage excitement. What about if I brought coffee? No. Snacks? Maybe. My daughter asked if she could invite a friend or two. I said OK, and decided to try the Junior High football field. While surrounded by trees, it is large enough that we might be able to find a spot central enough to see well. One of its parking lots is un-gated.

Inviting others threatened to get out of hand when friend number two said she would be asking a bunch of people to join us. I told my daughter that if more than a few kids were coming I wasn't comfortable being the only parent present. We packed blankets and pillows, and tucked a box of pretzels into the backpack. One of her pals showed up, and the girls baked lemon cupcakes to take along.

We set out just before just 1:00 AM, to pick up the other bud on our way. But there are always complications. Zbig weaseled out of coming with us, because the Maddy posse is too hyper for him. And as we rounded the first corner, my daughter casually mentioned that we were also picking up the friend`s twin brother.

Harrumph. If her scheme had not been concealed, I could have leveraged the the presence of an awkward non-blabby guy to get Zbig to accompany us. Or barring that, have have made it into a girls-only evening. So there I was with my kid and her emo-Goth-Wiccan-Protestant pals, one of whom disappeared with the Y-Chromosome twin for more than two hours. (Both sets of parents have been appraised of this potential unseemliness.)

The moon show was profound. It didn't need the embellishment of those auto-hypnotic rituals used to impart intensity into programmed celebrations. The full disk of the moon was painfully bright to look at. Unfiltered binoculars were overkill. The first twenty minutes were: Is anything happening? Which side? Yes, they are dancing in the moonlight. That is what girls do. A constellation that may have been Cetus was brilliant overhead.

A shadow arrived, beginning in the upper left quadrant. Time for pretzels and mooncake! We had the field completely to ourselves, and the kidlets launched into a series of Eagles and Beatles vocalizations. Were these people 14, or 54? That was when one of them, feeling ignored, sulked away to write in her diary by flashlight. She gradually increased her distance from us. Our non-female moon-viewer vanished as well.

The moon`s disk went through half, and was down to crescent when the dark area became visible in gray, turning toward lavender. As the shadow approached full coverage, swirls of orange showed, and then it darkened to a mottled reddish brown. More stars could be seen now. The familiar Dippers popped out overhead and Orion had risen.

Air temperature had dropped. I poured coffee into my 1950s turquoise plastic cups. The remaining occupants on my blanket demonstrated that they were not of the Javanese faith: Mmm, smells good. It`s so warm! This needs sugar, way more sugar! I cant drink this. The child conversation morphed into a discussion of llamas, Eventually substituting the cameloid term for most nouns and many verbs.

The full Eclipse phase seemed to last forever, the brown going back to purplish and remaining that way for nearly an hour. The moon arced across the sky and dipped into tree territory. I walked to the track and climbed into the 30-seat mini-bleachers. Then, as the shadow lessened, the moon took on a three-dimensional quality. The gradation between shadowed edges and glowing center made it feel like the true globe that it is. Our wandering couple reappeared and I asked them not to leave again.

A stark white patch showed before 5:00 AM, and grew quickly. My eyes had adjusted to darkness, so at first it seemed brighter than it had earlier. At 5:22 I was was ready to leave. (The official beginning and ending times were from 00:52 to 06:22 August 28, 2007.)

Blankets and pillows were repacked and we pulled out of the concealed parking lot.
I parked the Geminis with their parents and headed home. Looking west as we drove, the full moon was still high. It was bright enough to compete with traffic lights and shop windows.

Explain symbols in the map.

LOLCATS ARE EVERYWHERE

2007-07-21T23:03:00.000-07:00

(Sing this to the tune of Love is In The Air. The unitalicized parts are spoken.)

IM ON UR BALCONY
PEEKIN' THROUGH UR WINDOWPANE

UNDERNEATH UR LINDEN TREE
WITH A SONGBIRD I HAVE SLAIN

and if you think that something is hidden
that you've got it safely tucked away
i assure you it won't stay forbidden
because seek and destroy's how we play!

IM CRUISIN' UR PANTRY
LOOKIN' FOR MY FAVORITE SNACKS

I TAKE DOWN NOTES FROM UR CORK BOARD
LINE UR COMPUTER CHAIR WITH TACKS

lolcats are always on missions
on a stealth undercover foray
we dont lolly-gag making decisions
we're the cats that have something to say

lolcats are everywhere oo--oo-oo woo--oo-oo
lolcats are everywhere oo--oo-oo woo--oo-oo

Waiter, there's LOLCAT in my soup!
It`s catching Albondigas!

Waiter, now the cat is in my salad, what's it doing there?
Stalking animal cracker croutons!

IM IN UR DRESSER DRAWER
TRYIN' ON UR UNDERWEAR

I BRING FIELD MICE TO UR DOOR
'CAUSE I ALWAYS LIKE TO SHARE

the pond in ur yard is inviting
it's more fun than a big ball of twine
got my eyes peeled for the next frog sighting
all ur base koi are gonna be mine

lolcats are everywhere oo--oo-oo woo--oo-oo
lolcats are everywhere oo--oo-oo woo--oo-oo

Why did the lolcat cross the road?
To look for a cheeseburger!

Give em Hell Helen

2007-07-13T15:52:00.000-07:00

My local PBS (Channel 9) shows a BBC news report late at night. It generally takes a more critical look at US government policy than our namby pamby networks do. Last night they showed a clip from a presidential news conference where Helen Thomas, not decked out in her Reagan era shocking red dress, but clad modestly in a pale blue skirt and cardigan WAS LECTURING President Bush to the effect of:

You caused this war, and you could stop it!

Thomas is stooped over with age at nearly 87, but is still vigorous, loud, and dramatic. It was great to see.

I'd like to add link to a transcript of the news conference if it is online, and to get the exact quote. The references to it I've found so far don't seem to be accurate.

Bird Rescue

2007-06-11T11:21:00.000-07:00

A starling fell down my chimney today. I was watching the ladies of the view when I heard a scuffling that was louder than the usual squirrel on the roof or woodpeckers trying a taste of the siding. I followed the noise to the living room fireplace where a small bird was trapped behind the steel mesh curtain. I wondered if it could fly out again, but after watching it try a few times and go crashing down, it was apparent that it couldn't do this on its own. With each attempt, more soot was stirred up into the air and cast out onto the hearth. The bird's lungs must have been taking in a heavy dose of ash particles. I didn't want to let it fly around indoors, and I didn't want to get pecked, but leaving it in place to die slowly of dehydration and black lung disease would be too cruel. In the garage, I found a huge plastic tote that was somewhat transparent and a board to cover it with. I parted the screen to the width of the plastic box, and used the board to cover the remaining gap at the top. Amazingly, after only a few minutes, the bird hopped right in. I lowered the board, mousetrap-style, and then was able to move it and close the lid of the tote. Out on the deck when I opened the tote, the bird wasn't able to get enough loft to escape. But as soon as I turned the container on its side, the bird flew away, lighting in the branches of a tall pine.

Swim Smut

2007-04-05T11:38:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I walked into a a hardware store and bought a complete ballcock assembly. I didn't blush or giggle. I am however, posting about it on my journal. That's the equivalent of giggling about it now.

Now for what it took for me to get back in the water:

*I bought a new swimsuit. It is tastefully black.
Feeling confident at having the appropriate wardrobe, I renewed my pool membership.

*In acknowledgment that post-workout muscle fatigue makes it even tougher to step on the clutch, and that I generally have trouble doing that even under normal conditions, I picked up that other really old Volvo that I'd been considering getting. It's an automatic. That's right, I bought a car.

*On the way to said pool, I stopped at a sporting goods shop and purchased a new pair of goggles.

Lap count first day out (Friday): 10 kick board, 10 crawl, 6 kick board.
Lap count for Wednesday: 2 kick board, 20 crawl, and 8 kick board. Then asked the white-haired guy in the next lane if he liked the hand paddles he was using. He handed them over for me to try, so I I did 2 more crawl with them.

Lovely as it was, the experience did not achieve perfection. The pool is too warm, the hot tub is not hot enough, and neither are the showers. I won't be bothering with the tub anymore, It doesn't feel good enough to warrant the time spent.

Wild Saffron

2007-03-15T14:24:00.000-07:00

(Sing this to the tune of: It's Amore)

Elton's electrical boots
Match his scratchy hair suit
It's a mo-array

All of the Extra Virgin Olive Oil Kids Go for a Swim in the Hot Tub

2007-03-12T12:40:00.000-07:00

(Sing this to the tune of: That's Amore)

Rachel TeeVee chef pro
Wed Shakespeare"s Othello
Now She's a Moor-Ray

The happy couple are said to be honeymooning in the Congo.

Filk Mania Continues

2007-03-12T06:29:00.000-07:00

(Sing this to the tune of: That's Amore)

When you're a Brontė
And Heathcliff's far away
That's a Moor. Eh?

Variations on a Squeam

2007-03-12T05:59:00.000-07:00

(Sing this to the tune of: That's Amore)

When the sun's in the skies
And it just starts to rise
That's a morn. Eh?

Make a white sauce with cheese
Pour it over green peas
That's a mornay

Do controlled study
Sole survivor's B
Data's a mourn A

Should a Parliament need
More "Aye" votes to proceed
That's a more "Nay"

Stop me before I filk again! More Amore

2007-03-11T18:18:00.000-07:00

(Sing these to the tune of: That's Amore)

Here's another recycled one:

When you toast marshmallows,
Place on Grahams, add chocos
That's a 'smore

AND A TOTALLY ORIG NEVER SEEN BEFORE ANYWHERE:

Prayer to a bird profane
Hebrew words used in vain
That's a Sh'ma Ra

Filk!

2007-03-11T14:31:00.000-07:00

What can I say about "The Callahan Touch?" Put simply, this book is crap. In the course of moving some books off of shelves and into boxes, (more on that sitch will be shared if all goes well,) I came upon one of those Spider Robinson books that he cranked out between real novels to pick up cash, and to see the names of all of his friends set into type. Crap it is, but fun crap. A pause to race through it uncovered a section of parody lyrics to "That's Amore." The lawnmower verse was missing, it must be in another of the Crosstime Chronicles. My best recollection of it goes:

Runs on gas, Goes putt-putt
And your grass, it can cut
That's a mower eh?

And It's possible that I might have seen these before:

Milwauk' goil, newsroom toil
Mister Grant is her foil
That's a Mary

Man from Ork I think he
tried to grope Mindy's knee
Said she, "Mork 'kay"

Drawfs or dads, Springer cads
And the wives of thse lads
Also go on Maury

Dorothy's aunt dug for gold
Struck it rich, so I'm told
That's Em ore

There are many more, and I've decided to add some original (as far as I know) contributions to this Amaretto libretto.

Zee French bride eez lovely
and her husb, what of lui?
That's a mari

Dress of blue, 72
Martyr dudes, she well knew
That's um, a houri

PrissLand Update

2007-03-07T01:57:00.000-08:00

March came in like a lion with 4 inches of snowfall on Feb 28th in the evening as Maddy and I made our way back from her orchestra rehearsal and an inescapable grocery run. This adhesive snow was the latest ever in two decades at this location. The previous record was February 20th, set back soon after I moved in. The Volvo is a full-size vehicle with rubber tires. It lacks those crampon studded boots favored by frozen-waterfall climbers. We parked at the bottom of the steepest part, grabbed most of the provisions, and hiked in. Zbig was dispatched with a backpack to get the rest.

I am happy to say that my new spring shoes came through the ordeal unscathed. My hamstrings were not so lucky, and I've been battling leg cramps ever since. The ibuprofen industry is benefiting enormously. School was canceled Thursday, but resumed Friday as the streets had returned to full navigability.

Monday brought another downtown odyssey. As part of my continuing quest for expert advice, it was revealed that should I have to give sworn testimony, there will be no Bible, and that it's a "sworn or affirmed" statement. Yay for secularity. And don't worry, I haven't violated the rights of any field mice, so my freedom is not in jeopardy. There were several stops, and I ended up walking a few miles. I got home by 11 AM, and plunged into cleaning.

The fun resumed on Tuesday with a garage door technician paying me a call (and with my paying him a fee.) There was also some gardening. The dishwasher is suffering malfunction, and a kitchen faucet part has succumbed to metal fatigue. Today I consult with an expert in yet another discipline: the wonderful world of plumbing.

. . .

Last night, I went to the orchestra concert. The kids were incredible. Maddy had a small solo. Afterward, band booster parents honored our players with a cookie and juice reception. Junior High Students still get excited about sugar :)

I've never understood why movie mobsters cry at the opera. It's violins that do it for me.

Ov Glove, Kitt Mitt

2007-02-19T05:54:00.000-08:00

(Click here for a transcript of the Feb 18th Interview)

Not being from Massachusetts, I haven’t had much occasion to witness Mitt Romney in action. Now, thanks to This Week with George Stephanopoulos, I know how Mitt and his wife Ann perform in response to a gentle fawning delivery of what might have been tough questions had they not rehearsed answers to them all.

Before looking at their answers, The questions deserve attention. It has become George’s standard practice to ask Presidential candidates how their faith “informs” their politics. This is an incorrect use of the English language. It is true that one can glean information from a non sentient source such as a book, or by observing the natural world. But informing is volitional. For it to happen, a thinking being must act. George, until you change your question to: What does God inform you as (He or She) whispers into your ear, choose a different word. Stop taking the lyric, “for the Bible tells me so” as as anything but colloquial.

The candidate’s shift from support for the availability of abortion and of same-sex marriage that was required to be elected Governor of a liberal state, to opposing both, as is required of a national Republican candidate was covered well. Romney answered unapologetically. It was perfectly natural, he had simply evolved in his thinking. In fact all of his responses were like that. It was a policy of sidestep some things, but convey all experiences as positives. Changes in heart are not evidence of past mistakes, but purely of current victories. Rhetorically it was quite effective.

In Massachusetts he supports public funding for “faith-based institutions” when they are performing a “non-faith role.” I would have liked to see Stephanopoulos ask about specific examples. Does Romney think these non-faith functions could include schools? And do they include the “Crisis Pregnancy Centers” many of which currently receive public monies.

Quite aside from picking up votes from the faithful, and a sometimes justified perception that non-government soup kitchens can do tasks efficiently, kicking in money to private and non-profit concerns is easy on a State budget. The people doing the work will not be added to State employee healthcare or retirement, it’s up to their own employers. They might even be volunteering their time! Romney is opposed to universal healthcare, he favors a system where more people could buy insurance policies. Interestingly, the topics of retirement and Social Security were missing from this interview.

Most amusing to me was that Stephanopoulos introduced Romney as “movie star handsome.” He does have a certain charm to his speaking style. Then I noticed those little flighty Reganesque flourishes. His speech is metrosexual! Voters went for it in the 1980s, I wonder if will do the trick now.

Slow Suttee

2007-02-08T22:30:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow the Regis and Kelly show will do their annual Valentine's week wedding. It will feature a young viewer couple chosen for their endearing qualities. Along with the excitement of a glorious gown and the latest fashion in cake, we know that an element of tragedy accompanies this nuptial feast. The groom suffers from an autoimmune disease that destroyed his kidneys. His kidney transplant (from his father) is failing, and without another one, he may not be long for this world. Luckily, his bride-to-be is a perfect match.

Using organs from living donors with relative safety from immediate mortality is still a new technology. Practitioners describe the long-term health effects as “minimal,” I think it’s likely that there have not been enough multiple-year follow-up studies.

Going strictly by my perceptions of news reports, there seems to be a trend of kidney donations between spouses in a female to male direction. It may be that the underlying diseases are more prevalent in men. It’s certain that older men who can afford extensive health care often have younger spouses. If there really is a disproportionate flow of working parts from women to men, it should be stopped. Tissue banks could easily balance the numbers according to sex, and I believe that they should.

When a family member or acquaintance wants to donate a kidney but isn’t a match, sometimes another twosome can be found who aren’t a match for each other, but can be cross-matched with the first pair. To prevent donors from changing their minds after their own partner has received an organ, all four people are anesthetized and operated on simultaneously. This swapping can be done with more than two pairs. I found an article about five transfers done at once. Judging by the first names, the recipients included two women and three men, the donors were all female.

The Valentine groom’s mother may donate one of her kidneys before they resort to harvesting (yes, harvesting is the word used in the transplantation world) one from his bride. But it must be so comforting to have one in reserve.

Not kdice but also nice

2007-02-03T20:54:00.000-08:00

Create your own visitor map!

( kdice is an online mini version of the board game risk.)

Mourning becomes Electric

2007-01-24T20:40:00.000-08:00

Today I saw a flag flying at half-mast. I wondered if someone important had died.

Then I remembered.

It's still shaloshim for Gerald Ford.

Allumination

2007-01-06T13:46:00.000-08:00

The power stayed on last night despite some impressively bad weather. I used the fireplace anyway. I like my fireplace.

Fun purchase yesterday: 1950's aluminum end table with chic airplane-style architecture. It was four dollars and ninety-nine cents.

On Thursday I went downtown. On my drive in, it started to rain. Then the drops on my windshield took on that tell-tale paw print shape. Yes, they were turning into sleet as the temperature plummeted. Soon they became halves of styrofoam peanuts that bounced away as they landed. Managing to avoid the orange cones and half-laid train tracks on Fairview Avenue, I parked in Belltown and walked south. Funny sight along the way: some one and two-foot tall letters from an Avis car rental sign were sitting on the sidewalk. It wasn't obvious if they were going to be rehung, or thrown away. I resisted a twinge of temptation to take one, and I wonder if anyone succumbed to a similar urge.

--

Getting good legal advice is really good.

--

I'm posting today from the Peace vigil. I just had a convo with Pedro the Japanese Monk. I took a turn reading the names of some of the fallen. It was more emotional than I expected.

Rat Words

2006-12-21T16:35:00.000-08:00

Maddy is reading "The Stainless Steel Rat Gets Drafted" by Harry Harrison. It's one of my old paperbacks and it's still funny 20 years after it was written. She just came across a few unfamiliar words and asked me what they meant.

redoosial:
That's "residual" it means what is left over.

insufflate:
Not a real word.
Are you sure it's not a real word?
We went back and forth, she showed it to me in print.
It's a word that he made up, and from the context it means that he ate something.
But it says, "I didn't eat it so much as I insufflated it."
After that it says that he went back for more. The author could have said that he "inhaled it," or "ate it without tasting it," but he preferred to make up his own word.

and finally there was
cagal:
Do you mean "cabal?"
She spelled it for me.
Oh, that's a cuss word that he made up.
What does it mean?
Excrement.

She was surprised at the last one, and also that I thought it should be pronounced with a long "A." Cagal," rhymes with "bagel."

Edit: INSUFFLATE is a real word! Darn you internet. But CAGAL is not. Not yet that is.

It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad Maxina World

2006-12-17T13:35:00.000-08:00

You have just experienced the Great Windstorm of ‘06. OK, I have have. Those of you who live outside of the Prisstopolis area were only able to watch it on TV. It started with some rainy weather earlier in the week. Wednesday was quiet as were the daylight hours of Thursday. My son got home at his usual time, then my daughter came home from school early, they had canceled extracurricular activities.

At 4PM the sky went dark except for lightning, which is a rare phenomenon around here. Looking out of the windows, I could see the 200 foot Douglas Firs bending back and forth. Every few minutes the lights would dim and then come back to full. I made dinner early, then checked out my usual internet interests. At 9:30, the power went down completely. I heard groans from the rec room, the PrissKids were going to miss tonight’s episode of My Name is Earl, they were desolated. Since I just find that show annoying, all I could do was laugh.

While the PrissKids kept themselves amused by dancing LED flashlight patterns on the walls to the beat of their MP3 players, I found that I was able to stay on the internet. The laptop was fully charged, and my telephone landline connection was solid. I finally shut it off after midnight with 20% battery reserve remaining. On Friday morning, Zbiggy turned the machine on, clicked on schoolreport.org and found that classes were canceled. The district site had crashed.

Midday I took the car out in search of coffee and wi-fi, and a working electrical outlet. The Tulleys’ coffee isn’t very good, but they have free wi-fi, and we could always order cocoa, it’s hard to mess that up. But the outage was widespread. Most stores were closed, and the traffic lights were off.

After driving around and getting stuck in traffic, I stopped at a grocery store. They had partial power from a generator, and everyone was shopping in the dark. My check card scanned and debited without a problem. Infrastructure for separating people from their money has suddenly leapt forward. At home, I used the last of my firewood to warm up and make mocha java. That’s when I made my last post. We lit Holiday and Shabbat candles, watched the fire, and eventually went to bed early.

By Saturday morning, the house was getting cold. Letting the PrissKids sleep late, I was on the road by 8:30. My first objective was more Chanukah candles, then maybe some lappy power, and oh yes, firewood. Unlike Prissville, Seattle had power, so candle-shopping was no problem. Then I went to StarWars, but their wi-fi required me to sign up online for tmoblie. A conversation with someone who was actually drinking their coffee, led to trying another coffee spot, one with really good bagels, but their wi-fi was suffering from messed up settings. Plus, I didn’t want to stand in line.

Taking a different route home, I espied that elusive animal, the roadside stack of free wood. There were jagged one and two-foot sections of two by fours and one by fours in the corner of a construction site. Wet and muddy, but not green, I knew that they would burn. My next stop was ye olde peace vigil.

It was the usual the hour of waving at drivers and holding antiwar signs. I caught up on whose power was still off, and discussed the latest Jimmy Carter book. Across the parking lot, one of the peaceniks was loading a hand truck of freshly sawn logs into his pickup. I went over to investigate. Just out of sight, around the corner, another activist was chainsawing and splitting a windfall tree. I asked if some of it was available. He said that there would be plenty, but that I shouldn’t burn it yet.

Seeing that I had every intention of trying to burn it right away, he directed me to the smaller branches, and then offered to bring me some dried wood from home. This was seriously cool.

Back home with wood both scrounged and shared, things were cheery. The PrissKids lit candles for day two. I toasted turkey sandwiches and made an awesome fruit compote. Power came back in the early evening, we were out for 45 hours. Some neighborhoods within a few miles still haven’t been restored.

powah down

2006-12-15T15:52:00.000-08:00

Brethers and Sisteren,

The power has been out since nine-ish last night. My imac battery is on death's door. Happily, toasted cheese sandwiches made in the fireplace taste much better than the microwaved kind.

Yours in this new post-industrial world,

Priss