Thursday, March 15, 2007

Wild Saffron

(Sing this to the tune of: It's Amore)

Elton's electrical boots
Match his scratchy hair suit
It's a mo-array

Monday, March 12, 2007

All of the Extra Virgin Olive Oil Kids Go for a Swim in the Hot Tub

(Sing this to the tune of: That's Amore)

Rachel TeeVee chef pro

Wed Shakespeare"s Othello
Now She's a Moor-Ray

The happy couple are said to be honeymooning in the Congo.

Filk Mania Continues

(Sing this to the tune of: That's Amore)

When you're a BrontÄ—
And Heathcliff's far away
That's a Moor. Eh?

Variations on a Squeam

(Sing this to the tune of: That's Amore)

When the sun's in the skies
And it just starts to rise
That's a morn. Eh?

Make a white sauce with cheese
Pour it over green peas
That's a mornay

Do controlled study
Sole survivor's B
Data's a mourn A

Should a Parliament need
More "Aye" votes to proceed
That's a more "Nay"

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Stop me before I filk again! More Amore

(Sing these to the tune of: That's Amore)

Here's another recycled one:

When you toast marshmallows,
Place on Grahams, add chocos
That's a 'smore


Prayer to a bird profane
Hebrew words used in vain
That's a Sh'ma Ra


What can I say about "The Callahan Touch?" Put simply, this book is crap. In the course of moving some books off of shelves and into boxes, (more on that sitch will be shared if all goes well,) I came upon one of those Spider Robinson books that he cranked out between real novels to pick up cash, and to see the names of all of his friends set into type. Crap it is, but fun crap. A pause to race through it uncovered a section of parody lyrics to "That's Amore." The lawnmower verse was missing, it must be in another of the Crosstime Chronicles. My best recollection of it goes:

Runs on gas, Goes putt-putt
And your grass, it can cut
That's a mower eh?

And It's possible that I might have seen these before:

Milwauk' goil, newsroom toil
Mister Grant is her foil
That's a Mary

Man from Ork I think he
tried to grope Mindy's knee
Said she, "Mork 'kay"

Drawfs or dads, Springer cads
And the wives of thse lads
Also go on Maury

Dorothy's aunt dug for gold
Struck it rich, so I'm told
That's Em ore

There are many more, and I've decided to add some original (as far as I know) contributions to this Amaretto libretto.

Zee French bride eez lovely
and her husb, what of lui?
That's a mari

Dress of blue, 72
Martyr dudes, she well knew
That's um, a houri

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

PrissLand Update

March came in like a lion with 4 inches of snowfall on Feb 28th in the evening as Maddy and I made our way back from her orchestra rehearsal and an inescapable grocery run. This adhesive snow was the latest ever in two decades at this location. The previous record was February 20th, set back soon after I moved in. The Volvo is a full-size vehicle with rubber tires. It lacks those crampon studded boots favored by frozen-waterfall climbers. We parked at the bottom of the steepest part, grabbed most of the provisions, and hiked in. Zbig was dispatched with a backpack to get the rest.

I am happy to say that my new spring shoes came through the ordeal unscathed. My hamstrings were not so lucky, and I've been battling leg cramps ever since. The ibuprofen industry is benefiting enormously. School was canceled Thursday, but resumed Friday as the streets had returned to full navigability.

Monday brought another downtown odyssey. As part of my continuing quest for expert advice, it was revealed that should I have to give sworn testimony, there will be no Bible, and that it's a "sworn or affirmed" statement. Yay for secularity. And don't worry, I haven't violated the rights of any field mice, so my freedom is not in jeopardy. There were several stops, and I ended up walking a few miles. I got home by 11 AM, and plunged into cleaning.

The fun resumed on Tuesday with a garage door technician paying me a call (and with my paying him a fee.) There was also some gardening. The dishwasher is suffering malfunction, and a kitchen faucet part has succumbed to metal fatigue. Today I consult with an expert in yet another discipline: the wonderful world of plumbing.

. . .

Last night, I went to the orchestra concert. The kids were incredible. Maddy had a small solo. Afterward, band booster parents honored our players with a cookie and juice reception. Junior High Students still get excited about sugar :)

I've never understood why movie mobsters cry at the opera. It's violins that do it for me.