House (Theme Song)

Sing this to the tune of "Everyone Knows It's Windy"

You need a medical detective
When it feels like there's something wrong
If you're a fan of biting invective
He'll diagnose it before long

When you pet your Pekingese
Watch out for Bubonic fleas
You feel an itch at your knees
And vainly scratch
But they attach!

You cuddle with your main squeeze
Not thinking of STDs
But research with green monkeys
Led to a bite
And a parasite

That rash shaped like fleurs des lys
Might indicate leproses
Or maybe just allergies
It's hard to tell
But you're starting to swell

And nine-day-old porridge pease
Are fluent in Botulese
Which leads to paralyses
You can't take off
Can't even cough

Bacterial colonies
Or scary malignancies
An excess of manganese?
What e'er the spoor
He'll find the cure

You need a medical detective
When it feels like there's something wrong
If you're a fan of biting invective
He'll find the problem before long