Henry VIII on Ecstasy (LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE IN OUTER SPACE Episode 2)

Today on LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE IN OUTER SPACE, Tom Lehrer guest stars as Henry the Eighth. As the new girl in town, Captain Laura is targeted to be his seventh wife, the first six having mysteriously perished. Tom reprises the "Silent E" song that he wrote for the Electric Company.

what can turn a nil into a nile
and turn mil into a mile
and do it all with style
and never appear vile
the grandiosity of silent e

tie-dye with rit
wear it to a rite
do zazen sit
post it on your site (that's right!)
all cybernetically with silent e

it's not that far
so compare your fare
go by car
or maybe by air (if you dare)

if you care how
you travel to there
there's informa
tion that you can share
take my dare and do your hair with silent e

some guys are fat
it may be their fate
try lifting weights, work out your lats -and don't be late
could a guy like dat (Henry VIII)
ever get a date?
sometimes even a mat, can have a mate!

they met at a bar
and soon they were bare
by a a horse-shaped crater
called the mar of mare
and then she escaped
to her prairie lair
more adventures were awaiting way out there

i kitty kat, plz to call me "kate"
hijacked this song, you'll just have to wait.
i'm in your parody
explorin' don't ya see
seekret felinity of silent e

lets have a spat, or maybe a spate
of cheeze burgers
and go roller skate
so many choices what goes on your plate
the cat in the hat's hat, like it or hate? (take my survey!)

THE LOLCAT CONVENTION

(Sing this to the tune of Rainbow Connection by Paul Williams)

Why would I write a second
Song about LOLCATS
And places that they like to hide?
LOLCATS are characters
That live on the Internet
We try to take them in stride
Sneaky and saccharine
yet somehow alluring
With them we identify

Soon they will mass for
A LOLCAT convention
In a hotel of one mile high

LOLCATS are on your couch
Shedding on your cushions
They say it enhances decor
Now at your computer desk
One opens your browser
www.worldorfur
Soon they have altered your
Co-op shopping list
Pasting in cream over soy

LOLCATS just may achieve
Concatenation
Perhaps I should send an envoy

It`s easy to see that they
Are primal and clever
Feral, ferocious and sweet
LOLCATS are not afraid
To face adversaries
LOLCATS don`t shirk to compete
Daily I tune into news of disaster
Will major countries collide?

Somewhere the LOLCATs plot world domination
Let`s go along for the ride!

LOLCATS ARE EVERYWHERE

(Sing this to the tune of Love is In The Air. The unitalicized parts are spoken.)

IM ON UR BALCONY
PEEKIN' THROUGH UR WINDOWPANE

UNDERNEATH UR LINDEN TREE
WITH A SONGBIRD I HAVE SLAIN

and if you think that something is hidden
that you've got it safely tucked away
i assure you it won't stay forbidden
because seek and destroy's how we play!

IM CRUISIN' UR PANTRY
LOOKIN' FOR MY FAVORITE SNACKS

I TAKE DOWN NOTES FROM UR CORK BOARD
LINE UR COMPUTER CHAIR WITH TACKS

lolcats are always on missions
on a stealth undercover foray
we dont lolly-gag making decisions
we're the cats that have something to say

lolcats are everywhere oo--oo-oo woo--oo-oo
lolcats are everywhere oo--oo-oo woo--oo-oo

Waiter, there's LOLCAT in my soup!
It`s catching Albondigas!

Waiter, now the cat is in my salad, what's it doing there?
Stalking animal cracker croutons!

IM IN UR DRESSER DRAWER
TRYIN' ON UR UNDERWEAR

I BRING FIELD MICE TO UR DOOR
'CAUSE I ALWAYS LIKE TO SHARE

the pond in ur yard is inviting
it's more fun than a big ball of twine
got my eyes peeled for the next frog sighting
all ur base koi are gonna be mine

lolcats are everywhere oo--oo-oo woo--oo-oo
lolcats are everywhere oo--oo-oo woo--oo-oo

Why did the lolcat cross the road?
To look for a cheeseburger!