Ukulele Report

It is day three of my ukulele adventure. I can now play "Tom Dooley" and can sort of take a stab at "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz. Also I know how to tune the instrument, a pretty essential component of getting a song to sound recognizable.

PHEAR MY MAD UKE SKILLZ

Alejandro allay-allay-hand row

I love the Alejandro song by Lady Gaga. But I don't like the costumes and historical references in the new video. Pop culture has to try really hard to be fresh and challenging, you know, "edgy". I want my music to be fun, and not creepy. Obviously, anything that attracts comments is a success of a sort, so panning it here may be viewed as adding to the publicity.

Most of her fans are SO GAGA over everything that she's done, that they will love future product unconditionally. That would have described me up until now, I love all of her music.

To sum up:

Jackboots and nuns in red latex? Meh.

And if you escalate to evisceration and vivisection, I'm outta here.

Sexy Exhibitionist Guys at the Reggae Concert

Bob Marley on his shoulder?


Perma-Stickers!


Nice smile, wanna dance?

Hallelujah

Last night I went to a performance by a gospel music group. The most cynical definition of music is to regard it as a form of hypnosis. Religious belief and practice too, could be looked at as means of regulating crowd behavior, using the powerful tools of creeds, repetition, rhythm, behavior modeling, using up all of your waking moments . . .

These guys rocked!

I'm feeling some fusion inspiration. This can only lead to more lyrics.

Oz Eggmore? I know Ozymandius! He's Lady Eggmore's grandson.

So there was no interpretive dancing.

There wasn't even any circle dancing.

But there were cookies and latkes and stories and songs

Including one surprising new song. The lyrics were about flickering candles.

Our song leader played a few bars on the electric keyboard. The tune was strangely familiar. It had a shrill syncopated honky-tonk feel to it. I started to laugh. A few people looked at me oddly. How could notes without words be funny? I looked over at my daughter. She was laughing too.

Maddy said: do you know what this is?

 I replied: Peter Cottontail!

She said: I know!

The vamp bars concluded. As we launched into the words, we both applied that slight southwestern rasp to our vowel sounds best befitting the style of the music.

Happy Holidays from Priss Prisstofferson 21314 to Blogshares and to all of my readers near and far!




 

LOLCATS ARE EVERYWHERE

(Sing this to the tune of Love is In The Air. The unitalicized parts are spoken.)

IM ON UR BALCONY
PEEKIN' THROUGH UR WINDOWPANE

UNDERNEATH UR LINDEN TREE
WITH A SONGBIRD I HAVE SLAIN

and if you think that something is hidden
that you've got it safely tucked away
i assure you it won't stay forbidden
because seek and destroy's how we play!

IM CRUISIN' UR PANTRY
LOOKIN' FOR MY FAVORITE SNACKS

I TAKE DOWN NOTES FROM UR CORK BOARD
LINE UR COMPUTER CHAIR WITH TACKS

lolcats are always on missions
on a stealth undercover foray
we dont lolly-gag making decisions
we're the cats that have something to say

lolcats are everywhere oo--oo-oo woo--oo-oo
lolcats are everywhere oo--oo-oo woo--oo-oo

Waiter, there's LOLCAT in my soup!
It`s catching Albondigas!

Waiter, now the cat is in my salad, what's it doing there?
Stalking animal cracker croutons!

IM IN UR DRESSER DRAWER
TRYIN' ON UR UNDERWEAR

I BRING FIELD MICE TO UR DOOR
'CAUSE I ALWAYS LIKE TO SHARE

the pond in ur yard is inviting
it's more fun than a big ball of twine
got my eyes peeled for the next frog sighting
all ur base koi are gonna be mine

lolcats are everywhere oo--oo-oo woo--oo-oo
lolcats are everywhere oo--oo-oo woo--oo-oo

Why did the lolcat cross the road?
To look for a cheeseburger!

Harry Potter Song

(The sad violin music that accompanies the Harry Potter movies is really quite touching. But I prefer something with more pep. Sing the following words to the tune of the Jakers cartoon theme.)

This is the story of a young wizard
He lives with muggles, in conditions foul
But he knew he was destined for greatness
When his mother sent him an owl

Harry, Ronnie, and Hermione
Study magic at the academy
Incantations and Quidditch
But there's a mysterious enemy

If you'd like to learn levitation
And meet mythical beasts of old
There's a charm for every occasion
Some day we'll turn lead into gold

Dang'rous secrets are hidden in Hogworts
Don't believe everything that you see
This potion calls for frog hearts
We love the life of Wizardry