Andbing Owashisnamo

I posted a Twitter about making beet juice. Beets can stain your skin or your clothes resulting in a MARK OF THE BEETS. This sounds like a name. It follows the same form as Robin of Locksley, Will O'theWisp, and Bugs Bunny's friend: Cirrhosis of the Liver. let us look into into the Prisstopolis phone book to see what similar names lie on the "O" page:

First, there are names employing an apostrophe

Tortoise O'Hare
Cree O'LadyMarmelade
Port O'potty
Jell O'Puddingpop
Son O'Vagunwe'llbehavin'somefunonthebayou (A fine film. It was a sequel to the documentary treatment of his father.)

Then, some names that do indeed start with "O"

Ro-de O
Desert Oasis
Atlantic Ocean
Pacific Ocean
Cinccinatti Ohio
Holly Oleeoxenfree
Aut Omation
Jackie Onassis
Show Opening
RedroverredroversendPrisstopolisright Over
Fatal Overdose

And finally, some people are listed who have first names that begin with "O" and really belong on other pages.
E., O'Mall
Swamp, Okefenokee
Isme, Ohwoe
Dale, Over
Hill, Over

Plumber Joe, Surfer Joe, Peggy Sue

I haven't seen Mark Russell on a television set near me lately, but he used to show up several times a year on public channels with his red, white, and blue draped piano and political satire set to Broadway tunes. The last time that the stock market suffered a "correction," he explained that two days earlier had been "Black Monday, followed by Gray Tuesday, and today is Beige Wednesday."

Wikipedia informs me that Marky-baby is still above the sod. I never saw him use any rock and roll songs, but he's my inspiration for this little ditty.

Do you know plumber Joe
Keeps your float valve on the go
That plumber, plumber Joe-ho ho
Oh when you gotta go you you need a plumber in the know

Kitchen sink, to pour a drink
Like to hear those glasses clink
I neeed a workin' kitchen sin-hi-hink
Can't pour a drink without a workin' kitchen sink

Water flow, money dough
Cheddar to top your nacho
He's keepin' your taxes lo-ho-ho
Because a liquid lucre has got to have that flow!

(Chuck Berry style guitar solo)

Quarter mill, such a thrill
Or just a think tank well-paid shill
This message is getting shri-hill-hill
We can fix this mess if you just let me DRILL BABY DRILL

Adequately Insulating

Just for Moderatly Entertaining, Today I had occasion to ask a shopkeeper if there were a hat department.

There was!

I did not take the game to the next level of asking for the back-up hat department. And I left without any new millinerial acquisitions. Their selection was simply not up to muster.

In another venue, I was able to procure a CTJ.* It has a hood, which somewhat obviates any hatational requirements.

*CTJ is the Prisstonian word for winter outerwear. It is an acronym for Coat 'til June.

A Brand New Dance Now

The governor of California is asking Congress for an estimated seven billion dollars because in his lean, mean, low-taxing machine, there is suddenly not enough money to run the State.

According to the Treasurer of California:

"California may be forced to halt or significantly delay payments for teachers' salaries, nursing homes, law enforcement and 'every other state-funded service. . .'"

I can imagine all of those public servants, including the groundskeepers and cafeteria workers, missing a paycheck and filing for unemployment benefits. --Of course there would be no one on hand to process the paperwork.

Just like the private bailout, this is being framed as a loan, in this case a short term one. So if we "print money" to give to California, and then they pay it back, it could be removed from circulation with no harm done right? Except I don't think it works that way, I think that the money supply will just expand that much faster.

And California can't be the only place with liquidity issues. Get ready for the rest of the States with skinflint "small government" legislatures to hold out their hands on the Beltway breadline.

The bailout boogie is just beginning.

May you have sweetness in the New Year

Mmmmmmmm.

"midriff-bearing" in avoidance of bearing down

I posted a response to a Slate column purely to question their word choice. The article discussed and linked to an advertising campaign for hormonal contraception. It compared birth-control pills (so five-minutes-ago,) with a silicon pessary (up-to-the minute, plus it may even tone your abs.)
This consummate acquiescence to a manufacturer in the form of product placement was disappointing to me, because it advances the pharmaceutical industry message that choosy (non)mothers choose pregnant mare urine. There are methods that don't involve hormones at all, and I would like to see those promoted and made easier to use.

The Maverick Scale

Supreme Maverick of the Universe (One can only dream)
Maverick of Pennsylvania Avenue (Maybe later)
Maverick of the Senate (McCain now)
A Good Maverick with me (Applies to Palin)
Fair to middlin' Maverick (Repub Senate candidates)
Simple Ordinary Maverick (Repub House candidates)
Hardly a Maverick at all (other party candidates)
Non Maverick (people not running for office)
Chipped beef on toast (chipped beef on toast)

Umm, McCain had numerous pronunciations for "nuclear"

noo koo LEER, noo koo LER, noo KOO ler, and the normal NOO klee er. Talk about appealing to a diverse electorate!

And thank you to my local maverick Seattle area stores and utilities for accepting my WaMu money and not refusing it as worthless Quatloos. They are TRUE mavericks.

I just saw a recast of the September 24th CBS Katie Couric interview

Dear Senator Obama,

Do not suspend your presidential campaign, Do not suspend it for one minute. Go to the Senate floor for negotiations and votes, and maintain contact with your constituency by electronic means. Have your family and campaign staff, and those of Senator Biden, continue to appear at rallies. Your opponent's slimy request that you abandon your quest for a Democratic Administration is motivated by his desires to increase his own pocketbook and those of his fellow super-rich. Another Republican Administration would accelerate America's divide into a country of haves and have-nots, where the have-nots are increasingly denied the right to vote. Work for change. Stay on the campaign trail.

Democratically yours,

Priss Prisstofferson


Dear Senator McCain,

Why what a clever idea. If the campaign is suspended, the other candidate will never get to meet the public and never get to answer their questions. Your greater name recognition might just edge you over the top. And clever too, to represent your call for him to pick up his marbles and go home as taking the high road. No, conceding to you would not be best for the public, it would be best for the arms dealers and insurance companies, and best for your retirement income someday when they would reward you for your role as a loyal vassal. Today we have telephones and video cameras. These can be combined into a powerful communication instrument that would allow you to stay in touch with the public and with the Press. You also have a running mate. You could request that the Vice-Presidential debate be held first, while you seclude yourself in a Senate committee room. It seems likely to me that Senator Biden would be willing to pop out of chambers, whip out a debate, and then dash back to the Capitol if there were really some effective stopgap plan to be hammered out. The Press has made much of your campaign's reluctance to take Sarah Palin out of the Saran Wrap, but debates are a traditional part of American Presidential races. If you back away from personally participating, you appear to have something to hide. So get out there and debate, or send your running mate in your stead. Wassamatter, are you yeller?

Republicanly yours,

Priss Prisstofferson